Fire and Ice
by Myth Queen
Summary: Loki is still trying to carve a place in the Nine Realms, unsure of what to do with himself. But when Angrboda of Jotunheim arrives in Asgard, determined to take him back to Jotunheim and take his place as Laufey's first son, things will never be the same. Post-Avengers. AU. Rated T for now, it may go up for some chapters but I will give warnings.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This is part of Marvel-Tolkien Fangirl's "Shadows" universe, and a sequel to the fic I co-authored with her "Winter's Fire" which can be found on her profile. I did try to write this in a way that readers don't have to read the other works in the series first, but it would probably be useful to do so if one feels so inclined. Thank you!**

**#**

_I can only hope one day you read these words and know this story,_ Farbauti wrote, her quill scratching against the parchment. She paused to smile at her tiny son sleeping in a pile of furs beside her. _I can only pray that you will know me, but I can only hide you from Laufey for so long. He will claim you as his son, though I suspect he knows you are not. His wives remain childless. Is he arrogant enough to believe what he says, that they are to blame for this?_

_ But enough of that fool. I don't want to fill this book with him. One day, I am certain that he will receive the punishment he deserves. I am writing this so that no matter what happens, you will know that I love you, my baby. I love you so much and it kills me to think that I may not be able to watch you grow. I pray that I will, but a slave had no claim on her own children. And so I also pray that you will be raised with love._

He baby was stirring. Putting down her quill, Farbauti picked him up. His big eyes opened and blinked at her.

"Hello, little one," Farbauti whispered, and his tiny hand knotted in her black hair. She kissed his forehead, and cradled him in one arm, reaching for her quill.

_I know someday that you will meet your father. Many believe that he is little better than the demons he slays. Sometimes I think he believes it himself. But I have seen the truth of his heart, my son, and I know he is filled with sorrow and guilt. He is not as cruel as people think, and not as much of an island as he thinks. Everyone needs love in their lives. He, perhaps more than most. I loved him. I think I will always love him, even thought I know I will likely never see him again. I wish_

A shadow passed outside of her window. Farbauti looked up, her heart instantly going cold. In the shadows of the blue light cast by a dying start, she saw two figures approaching. Slamming the book shut, she laid the baby down on her bed and crouched by the hearth. She removed a brick and slid the book in. Laufey might suspect that the child was not his son, but the tangible proof of it in his first wife's hand would result in the babe being enslaved like his mother at best-

She ran back to her baby, pulling him in her arms, desperately searching for a place to hide him. But it was hopeless. She cradled him close and backed away from the door. She heard the iron-clad steps of Laufey in the snow.

The door burst open, cracking down the middle as it flung against the wall. Farbauti flinched back. Laufey loomed in the doorway, dressed in full battle armour. He ducked in, his eyes narrowed as his gaze focused on the baby in Farbauti's arms. Laufey's first wife, Gunnlod, stepped out from behind him, her expression of envy, triumph and anger distorting her normally pretty face.

"It is as I told you, husband. Your little half-breed whore has given birth."

"This creature?" Laufey sneered.

Farbauti backed away. "My lord, I... I..."

"_SILENCE_!"

Farbauti tried to shield her child from the blow that cracked across her face. It knocked her to the floor. Black spots rolled in front of her eyes. She cried out.

"You thought to keep this runt a secret from me?! Undersized or not, he is my get, and my responsibility. I will not allow my offspring to be raised by a half-bred slave."

Farbauti's heart lurched as Gunnlod ripped the baby from her arms. He began to wail. She was hurting him! Farbauti lurched to her knees, crying out.

"My lord, please, no! Please!"

Laufey's hand cracked across her face. She tasted blood in her mouth. Pain exploded in her stomach as Laufey kicked her twice. She dropped to the floor, covering her face with her arms, curling in to protect her soft stomach.

Rage flamed in her as the blows rained on her and she heard her baby's cries grow louder. Her fingers touched the hilt of the knife she used to peel vegetables, they curled around it. Laufey gave her a final kick and backed away, wiping a line of spittle from his chin.

Farbauti struck. "You will not take my son from me!" she screamed, stabbing the knife into Laufey's shoulder.

He grunted in surprise. The knife tore from her grasp and then Laufey's hands were around her throat. Farbauti scratched at his face, but his grip only tightened. He bore down on her, forcing her smaller body to the floor and straddled her, his knees on her forearms. Farbauti's eyes widened. Laufey grinned.

"You think you can strike at your king and not pay the consequences, wench?"

With a wrench, Farbauti freed her hand. Desperately she grabbed for the knife in Laufey's shoulder. Gunnlod kicked her in the face and then stepped on her wrist.

It was over. Farbauti knew it. She struggled, but she was small for a Jotünn, and Laufey was too strong for her. Her baby was still crying, but the sound seemed to be coming from a distance... Black spots were shrouding Laufey's face from her sight.

_Atum_, she prayed as she felt Death's hand close around her, _find our son. Care for him..._

#

Loki sat in his favourite corner of the library, leaning against the wall with his legs stretched out in front of him, a book in his hands. He knew that a guard was nearby, but it didn't bother him. After all, it was better than being locked away in a solitary dungeon, which had been his situation until very recently. It still would be, if not for Midgard being attacked by the demon Chthon, and then the arrival of the sun-god Atum, Thor's half-brother and Loki's... father.

The trickster pushed the thought aside. He had come to accept that Atum was his father, accept it meant Thor was his uncle, and that the threat of Atum's wrath hung over Odin, giving Loki more freedom than that he had become accustomed to, but he had yet to embrace it. There was too much history between Loki and Atum to just let bygones be bygones.

A smile flickered across Loki's lips when he heard footsteps approaching. He would always recognise his younger brother's loud and impatient way of walking. Balder found him quickly, plopping down beside him.

"Ouch," the blond god muttered, pulling a book out from under himself. "Hello, Loki."

"Balder."

"I am bored."

"There are a lot of books around you."

"Reading does not appeal to me at this moment."

Loki set a ribbon between the pages he was reading. "What do you expect me to do about it?"

"I had a dream last night about your birth mother. Farbauti."

Loki tensed.

"I dreamt that she died trying to keep you from Laufey," Balder continued cautiously, watching Loki closely. "I was just wondering if..."

"If what?"

"If, because I was in your mind while you were unconscious, it was actually a memory."

Loki sighed wearily. "Perhaps. I did see something similar when I was trapped inside my head. I do not know if it was real, though. I wish there was a way to know for certain."

Balder got _that_ look on his face. The look that he and Thor both got when they were about to do something beyond idiotic.

"Balder-" Loki started warningly.

"Oh, don't give me that tone." Balder rolled his eyes. "That's your 'I'm so much smarter than you and that means whatever you are about to do is a foolish endeavour' tone."

"What _are_ you planning?"

"Nothing."

"You are a terrible liar, little brother."

Balder grinned and popped to his feet. "Yes, I am!" he said proudly.

Loki rolled his eyes as Balder sped off, but allowed a grin to find its way onto his face. The young god's plans generally lacked cunning and basic common sense, but they were always harmless. Balder was one who erred on the side of caution. He was probably going to try to convince his sweetheart Nanna to make some sort of flower-filled cake or some such thing to help Loki "feel better."

Balder was still young enough and naive enough to think that hugs and sweets solved everything.

Loki picked up his book again.

#

It was the best plan he had ever come up with! Balder looped a satchel over his arm and then pulled on a cloak that was slightly too heavy for the fall weather outside. He hesitated over his sword before deciding to leave it. If he was stopped, what reason would he give for carrying a weapon? Besides, the only thing swords were good for was sparring with his friends or pitching a tent.

Balder left the palace quickly, following the directions he had memorised a day earlier to a twenty foot cliff overlooking the lake. Although what a lake was doing so close to an ocean that eternally flowed into the abyss, Balder still hadn't figured out.

_Focus_, he told himself. The slightest thing could send everything crashing down around him.

Odin had closed the portals between Asgard and Jotunheim, but Balder had been reading up on them. With the little bit of magic he had gleaned from his lessons with Loki and Frigga, he knew enough to open them.

He hoped. If not, he was going to get really wet.

Gathered his courage. Balder reached out his hand and sent tendrils of magic downwards. Soon he felt the sealing over the portal and nudged it. That didn't do anything, so he slammed the seal with magic. He felt it crack, and slammed it again. It wasn't long before he sensed the portal opening, though there was no physical sign of change.

"I suppose a quest requires a parting cheer or some such thing," he muttered. He thought for a moment, but nothing came to mind. With a shrug, Balder jumped.

And landed in a pile of fluffy snow that swallowed him instantly.

"By the Nine, this is cold!" he yelped, floundering out of the drift. He shivered as he glanced around. Snow melted and ran into his collar.

The light from the blue sun reflected off the snow and ice, casting everything in dim, eerie shadows. Balder brushed the snow from his hair and climbed atop a chunk of ice to get a better view of the land.

"It looks nothing like my dream," he muttered. "But I suppose Loki's memories were from a long time ago."

He spied a crumbling building atop a nearby hill. That _could_ be the old temple. It was a place to start, anyway. He had drawn rudimentary mass of what he knew of Jotunheim and compared it to maps in the library... but perhaps he should have made a better plan to find Farbauti's house. He could only hope it was still standing!

Balder was out of breath by the time he reached the ruins. His heart sank as he inspected them. He saw nothing that looked like the old temple.

In fact, these didn't look like ruins at all!

"Uh, oh..."

They weren't ruins. It was a new building, made of carved blocks of ice melted together and refrozen. Ingenious, really, but where were the builders?

The young prince turned around to find himself face-to-face with a Jotünn. Or rather, face-to navel, because that was the body part he found himself staring at. Balder looked up the sculpted muscles with growing dread. The frost giant stared down at him with narrowed red eyes. He looked annoyed.

Balder gulped and backed away.

"Who do you belong to?" the Jotünn demanded. "Slaves are not permitted near the construction of the new temple!"

"I don't belong to anybody," Balder responded. "I am Balder, the youngest prince of-" It occurred to him, he should have lied, "-Of Asgard."

The Jotünn's brows rose, and then he threw back his head and started to laugh. Balder chuckled nervously. Suddenly the giant grabbed him by the leg and yanked him upside down. Balder yelped and gulped again as the giant brought him close to his face. The raised ridges on his face looked like spiky scars.

"What does the little prince want on Jotunheim? Come to prove your bravery by murder?"

"Murder!" Balder did his best to not look completely ridiculous. Difficult feat with his cloak and satchel flopping all over the place. "I don't even have weapons! I prefer hugs!"

Well, that was the stupidest thing he could have said. The Jotünn dropped him. With another yelp, Balder threw out his arms and managed to roll on his landing, rather than landing on his head and snapping his neck. He flopped into another snow drift. When he fought himself free of its cold clutches, he saw the Jotünn sitting on the ground, rocking back and forth, nearly bursting with laughter. Balder stared. This was not what he had been expecting.

"You are a funny little person," the giant rumbled. "Not tell me honestly. Who is your master?"

Balder blinked. "I told you-"

"Do not take Helblindi for a fool, little one," the Jotünn warned. "How would Odin's youngest brat come to Jotunheim without the destruction the bifrost brings to our world?"

"An old portal."

"Enough! Tell me who you belong to or I will squish your little toes to jelly and roast them for my lunch."

That did not sound like something Balder wanted to experience. "Erm, I guess you won't believe me so... My master, or rather, mistress, is Angrboda."

It was the only name he knew.

Helblindi frowned and got to his feet. His expression was utterly perplexed.

"What are you talking about? Women do not have man-slaves!"

Balder shrugged.

Helblindi seemed to contemplate the situation, and then snatched Balder up again. "We'll sort you out soon enough, little one. We'll see what Angrboda says about this!"

#

Loki ripped up the letter he had been writing and threw the pieces into the fire. It was all wrong. He shouldn't even be writing the letter. He stood from his writing desk and walked to his window.

"Oh, Sigyn," he murmured. "It's probably best that I cannot put into words for I feel..."

Since it was revealed that Atum his father, it meant that his childhood love – a love he had always felt – was in fact his cousin. Nothing could happen they could only remain acquaintances. Not even friends. To be so close to her would only drive him mad! Better stay at a distance, as he had since they were children.

The door to his study opened. Thor stepped in and gestured to the guards to stay outside.

"Greetings, uncle," Loki said, allowing a hint of teasing into his voice.

Thor rolled his eyes. "Please! I am your _brother_."

Loki chuckled and gestured for Thor to sit. "If you insist. What brings you here?"

"I am looking for Balder. It is time for our sparring lessons."

"I have not seen him for nigh an hour." Loki frowned. "He asked me about a memory that I have, about Jotunheim-"

He cut off. Thor met his eyes, and they groaned in unison.

"I did not think he would be so stupid!" Loki cried.

"He's our brother, of course he would! Come, we must find Heimdall."

#

"What brings Balder the Brave to the frozen wasteland of Jotunheim?"

Balder gulped. He stared up at the giantess, his eyes wide. Her skin was a lighter blue than the Jotünns around her, half-moon designs on her face and arms. Long, slender fingers stroked at the thick fur of a wolf by her side that was as large as Sleipinir. She herself was about half again larger than the giants around her. Fire like hair tumbled over her bare shoulders and swept down to her waist. Her golden lips curled into a smile.

"Well, little prince? What holds your tongue?"

"You're naked," Balder blurted.

Angrboda raised one fiery brow. "I wear more covering then the men of this court."

Balder blushed. That was true enough. The male Jotünns around them wore hide loincloths and little else. Angrboda wore knee-length trousers with a mid-thigh skirt, and a fitted breastplate over her... chest. But Balder had never seen so much skin exposed on a woman! Long, slender feet, incredibly shapely legs, a taunt, tight stomach, toned and sculpted arms.

Angrboda unfolded her long legs and stood. She strode to Balder and placed one long finger under his chin.

"You are as beautiful as the stories say. Such as the beauty of the Aesir profess, that is." She looked at her companions. "Leave us."

Balder gulped again. The Jotünns silently left the two of them alone. Oh, this was the stupidest idea he had ever had!

"Close your eyes."

"Why?"

Angrboda began to unbuckle her breastplate. Balder's eyes went as bid as saucers.

"What are you doing?" he cried in alarm.

"Not what you're thinking. Close your eyes if you don't want to see."

Balder responded by squeezing his eyes shut and covering his ears. He wasn't quite sure what he was hoping not to _hear_, but it seemed like the thing to do.

After a few moments, he felt a tap on his shoulder. Cautiously, he peeked through his lashes. His jaw dropped. Angrboda stood in front of him, wearing a brown dress that was sleeveless and only went to her knees, but it was a relief, considering what she had been wearing before.

She was also a good two inches shorter than he was!

"Come sit down," she said, gesturing to the steps of her throne.

The wolf stretched as they sat, digging its claws into the ground. Balder stared in horrified fascination as it yawned- its teeth were as long as daggers! It shook out its shoulders, grey scruff quivering, and then padded over to settle itself by Angrboda. Its yellow eyes fixed on Balder.

"You can change your size," Balder nervously said, gaze locked on the wolf.

"Is that a statement or a question, princling?"

"Er-"

"I was sired by a frost giant but birthed by a fire demoness," Angrboda flickered her fire-hair over her shoulder. "This has given me unique abilities."

"Oh."

Angrboda stared at Balder for a long time. He shifted uncomfortably, and wished his brothers were with him. Thor would be able to make the wolf at least blink those great yellow eyes, and Loki would make the frost giantess talk.

"So..." Balder floundered.

"I am certain that you have heard terrible stories of Jotünns, Prince Balder," Angrboda folded her hands demurely on her knees. "I have certainly heard stories of the Aesir that would leave your pretty baby-face as white as your bones. Tales of deceit, murder, thievery- Have you come for more of the same? To kill and steal from us like your father-"

"Don't talk about my father like that!" Balder jumped to his feet, furious. "And I'm not here for any of that; I'm just looking for-"

He cut off.

Angrboda stood. "Looking for what?"

Balder sullenly remained silent.

"Fenrir," the Jotünn snapped her fingers.

The Wolf leapt to its feet and had knocked Balder down before he could react. His back collided with the steps, but the wolf's giant paws cradled his head. It laid its front leg across his chest, pinning him in place. Crouching down, it pulled Balder's head into its mouth. Hot, damp breath washed across his face. Balder held his breath so he wouldn't smell the reek and struggled to free himself. The wolf's teeth brushed across his neck and he yelped.

"Fenrir doesn't like it when things squirm in his mouth, little princling." Angrboda's voice came through the walls of wolf-mouth. Balder went still. "Why are you here?"

Balder's lung felt like they were going to explode. A drop of saliva hit his brow.

"Tell me, or-"

The wolf's teeth pressed against his throat.

"I was looking for Farbauti's house! I wanted to find a book- her journal!"

The wolf dropped him. Angrboda yanked him to his feet. Her face was livid.

"Why are you interesting in one of Laufey's old slaves?"

Balder squeaked in a most undignified manner, but he didn't care._ I'm going to die, she's going to kill me!_

"I was looking for her journal! I just wanted- I thought it would help!"

Angrboda threw him to the ground. Her red eyes narrowed and a long dagger of ice grew from her hand until it touched his throat. She was swelling up; she was about to burst out of her dress.

"Help what?"

"My brother, Loki," Balder pulled himself up the stairs, but the ice dagger stayed close to his throat. "He- Farbauti was his mother-"

Angrboda froze. After a moment, she lowered the blade. "What?"

"I'm not lying, I swear."

"Farbauti's child- Laufey's first and only son- alive?"

Balder silently cursed himself. When Odin and Frigga had told him about Loki's Jotünn heritage, they had sternly warned him to tell no one. And now he had gone and blabbed to one of Asgard's greatest enemies! He hoped that they would forgive me.

Angrboda raised the ice blade again, and Balder hoped that he'd be around long enough to forgive.

"I thought Odin had killed the infant he took with the Casket of Winters at the final battle. It is what my father would have done." A flame leapt from her hand and ran along the length of the dagger, melting it in seconds. "No matter. No doubt your father will be sending someone soon to retrieve you."

Balder glanced at the wolf, which was lazily licking its grey fur, though its yellow eyes never left him. "What are you going to do to me?"

"You will not be harmed. Jotunheim cannot risk another war with Asgard. We have yet to rebuild from the last one. All the same, your father will be willing to ransom your life, will he not?"

"I certainly hope so," Balder muttered as Fenrir's teeth closed around his waist. The wolf picked him up and followed after Angrboda as she strode away.  
**#**

**PS A/N: I will be uploading a new chapter every Saturday.**


	2. Chapter 2

"What was he thinking?" Thor raged as he waited for Sif and the warriors three at the observatory. He paced nervously, letting his anger bubble to the surface so he wouldn't feel the fear twisting in his gut. Balder in Jotunheim. What might they be doing to him?

"This is my fault."

Thor stopped pacing and looked to where Loki stood, staring out at the repaired rainbow bridge and the city beyond. Two guards stood with the horses, ready to accompany him back to the palace when Thor was away. Heimdall stood a little distance away, but Thor was acutely aware that he was watching everything he and Loki did.

"Balder must be looking for something of Farbauti's," Loki continued. "Why else would he go to Jotunheim?"

"None of us could have known he would be so reckless."

Loki laughed bitterly. "Since when has he been so..."

"Bold?"

"Careless."

Thor didn't respond for a moment. "Balder became less... cautious during the time when we thought that you were dead. You know how he is, he had no control over his emotions. His little schemes became more adventuresome, but only to the point where he'd suffer a few scrapes, once a broken arm. Never did he put himself in any real danger!"

"The Jotünns will tear him to pieces," Loki murmured.

Thor looked over the rainbow bridge and saw for figures quickly riding in on horses. Another twist of anxiety churned his stomach.

"Loki..."

Loki followed his gaze and sighed.

"Have you spoken to any of them of late?"

"Only to acknowledge their threats of what should become of me if I turn against you," Loki muttered, kicking at the ground. "Have you told them?"

"About what?"

"Atum... my father."

Thor hesitated. "I did not tell the warriors three."

Loki's green eyes narrowed, although he appeared to have been expecting the answer. "You told Sif."

"I needed someone to talk to. And she knows what's it's like, Karnilla is her mother-"

"That is irrelevant. It was not your right to tell anybody, let alone her." Loki's jaw tightened. "If you needed to talk with someone about it, why not Mother or Fath-"

He cut off.

The four warriors were almost to the observatory. Loki's expression became anxious, though he tried to hide it.

"Just bring Balder back safely, and then-"

"You'll finish raging at me?"

Loki rolled his eyes, and headed for the horses. "I'm returning to the city," he called to the guards.

The dark prince swung up onto his horse as Sif and the warriors three dismounted from theirs. None of them acknowledged each other. Sif joined Heimdall while Hogun, Fandral and Volstagg went to Thor.

"Thor-" Loki twisted in his saddle to look back at his brother. "You're an idiot when you get angry. Don't be an idiot."

Thor opened his mouth to protest, but swallowed it down and nodded. Loki wheeled his horse around and urged it towards the city. The guards followed after him.

"I do not wish to question the Allfather," Fandral muttered, "but what in blazes was he thinking?"

"Mind how you speak," Thor warned.

"We know he is your brother," Hogun replied. "He still tried to murder us all."

"And he fought valiantly against Chthon on Midgard. My father had taken a great many things into consideration before he allowed Loki what freedoms he has now." Thor watched as Loki rode straight-backed away from them.

"Not to mention that the sun-god would have words with our trickster should he attempt such actions again," Sif said, joining them.

"What would Atum-"

"We are going to Jotunheim to retrieve my little brother, there will be time to discuss Loki at a later date," Thor interrupted, and then in a murmur, "Back to Jotunheim, where it all went wrong."

"Let us hope that there are no princes who take offence at childish remarks this time," Sif added lightly.

Thor gave her an annoyed look, but she merely raised an eyebrow in return.

"Heimdall, have you any parting wisdom for us?" Fandral asked, his voice almost serious.

"Expect difficulties."

"Excellent."

Thor took a deep breath. He heard Heimdall activate the bifrost. The dome began to spin. A rainbow of coloured lights yanked him forward- there was a brilliant flash of stars, and then he was surrounded by cold. His breath misted, and Thor led his friends from the bifrost circle.

They had been expected.

A Jotünn woman, two or three feet taller than Thor himself, stood before them. She wore a wine-red gown, cut off-the-shoulder, with a full skirt reminiscent of what women in Vanaheim wore. Her hair was literally flaming, and Thor wondered that it did not burn her blue shoulders that it lay against. An elaborate crown of jade sat on her brow.

"Welcome, warriors of Asgard."

Thor stepped forward. "I am Thor, first son of Odin Allfather, and I am here for my brother."

"I am Angrboda, first daughter of Laufey, slain king of Jotunheim, and I will not be handing the young prince Balder back to you at this time."

Thor felt his anger rise like a physical beast in his chest. _Don't be an idiot._ It was as though Loki was beside him, whispering in his ear. Thor swallowed down his anger.

"Lady Angrboda," he began, striving to sound diplomatic, "I am not leaving Jotunheim empty handed."

"Of course not, my lord," Angrboda bowed her head. "This is why you shall be taking _me_ back to Asgard."

Thor's jaw dropped. "_You_?"

"Yes, me," the woman replied calmly, a small, amused smile on her golden lips. "As I said, I will not be returning Prince Balder to you _at this time_. He will be returned to Asgard, of course, but first there must be talks of what... repayment must be made for our caretaking of your brother."

"Caretaking? You mean ransoming your prisoner!" Thor said hotly.

"Call it what you will."

"I call it what it is!"

Angrboda shrugged.

Thor glared at her, but he knew he was trapped. If he attempted to recover Balder by force, the young god would pay the price. And yet he could not bring a frost giantess to Asgard! What could he do?

"If you tell me what the Jotünns demand, I will send one of my companions-"

"I will only speak with he who had the authority to negotiate directly," Angrboda interrupted sharply. "I may be of a people less powerful than yours, Mighty Thor, but my authority on Jotunheim is greater than yours on Asgard."

"I wish to see my brother."

Angrboda produced a small hand mirror from the folds of her skirt. "This is a scrying mirror. Speak the name of the one you wish to see, and it will show you."

Thor frowned suspiciously. "I did not mean-"

"I know what you mean, but do not think I am so foolish to allow you further into Jotunheim. If time was not so pressing, I might be inclined to let the fat one-"

"Fat one?" Volstagg repeated. "You mean me?"

"Who else would she mean?" Fandral muttered.

Angrboda raised a fiery brow. "I meant no offence, noble fat one. A thick waist is a sign of beauty in Jotunheim- possibly because so few of us have enough to eat day by day since Asgard's incursion onto our world."

Thor opened his mouth to sharply remind her of what Jotunheim had done, but stopped himself. "My brother is of importance at this moment."

"Of course. I apologise. I will not risk letting you near him, but surely your far-sighted Heimdall can vouch for his safety? If you need proof now, I suggest you take the scrying mirror."

She held out the mirror. Reluctantly, Thor accepted it. It was delicate, carved with the image of a single eye on the jade backing. He looked into the reflective surface.

"Show me Balder," he commanded.

The image in the mirror swirled, and then Balder's face, craning upwards, came into view.

"No, no, no!" the teenager was saying in exasperation. "I didn't mean crushing the life from your enemy! I mean _hugs_!"

Thor couldn't stop himself from chuckling. Balder and his insistence that love would solve all problems!

"He is quite endearing, that one," Angrboda chuckled.

Thor handed the mirror back. "I cannot bring you to Asgard."

"No?" Angrboda shrugged. "Very well. Heimdall can, and by this time he will have received instructions from your king, yes?"

She confidently strode into the center of the bifrost markings. Thor shared a glance with his companions. Fandral was inspecting Angrboda with _that_ look- Thor was tempted to slap him. Did he never have anything else on his mind? Volstagg looked uncertain, and was toying with his braided beard. Hogun was grim, and Sif returned his look with a raised brow. Frustrated by his helplessness, Thor gestured to them all. Together, they gathered on the site.

"What if Heimdall does not-" Fandral started, but the bifrost descended and snatched them all away.

When the bifrost deposited them back into the observatory, Thor was more than a little smug to see that Angrboda took a moment to reorient herself. Travel via bifrost was the quickest way to get between worlds, but it took some getting used to. The Jotünn woman quickly regained her composure, though. She glanced around quickly, and her red eyes widened. At first Thor thought it was because of the two dozen armed guards waiting on horseback that were obviously come to "greet" her, but then he noticed that she barely glanced at the men. Her gaze stared around the observatory, and she was struggling to keep a look of awe off her face.

One of the men dismounted and walked forward. Thor recognised Frey, his half-brother, under the helmet. Frey bowed to Angrboda.

"Welcome, Lady, to Asgard," he said, "Odin Allfather will see you at once."

Angrboda frowned at him as she walked forward. "I recognise you."

"We met once on Jotunheim, when you were a child."

"Ah, yes. I remember."

Thor hung back with his friends as Frey remounted his horse and then the procession headed back for the city. Among the warriors on horseback, Angrboda was the smallest of the group.

"I wonder what her hair feels like," Fandral muttered. "Is it soft or-"

"She's a Jotünn," Volstagg reminded the younger blond.

"I know that. She's still very well proportioned, though."

Sif rolled her eyes and smacked Fandral.

"What was that for?"

"Being a pig."

"What do you suppose she wants?" Volstagg said, casually placing himself between Sif and Fandral.

Thor hefted Mjölnir. "The return of the Casket."

"Odin would not give them back that weapon," Fandral argued. "She must know that. She seems to be quite intelligent."

"In exchange for his son's life, he might," Hogun replied grimly.

Thor left his friends to their suppositions and went to Heimdall. His brow furrowed with a dark scowl. "How does my brother fare?"

Heimdall rested his hands on his large sword, looking almost casual about it. "He is being well cared for by the Jotünns. They have given him warm clothing and food, and now he is teaching them a drinking song."

Thor sighed. "I should be surprised, I suppose, but Balder has never understood real danger. He is too naive!"

"Perhaps his naivety protects him."

"From what?"

Heimdall gave him a look that was equivalent of a shrug. Sif broke away from the warriors three and joined them.

"Will you let Mother know I might not make it for dinner?" she asked Heimdall.

The gatekeeper smiled fondly at her. They were cousins by blood, but they had been raised as brother and sister. "I already have."

Sif nodded. "Good. We had best get back to the palace."

"I was hoping-" Thor started.

"Even if I was to turn my gaze on the king's negotiations with the Jotünn princess, I could not share any details of it," Heimdall interrupted. "You had best get to the palace."

Thor nodded sheepishly, and called to his other friends. His mind was churning, and his gut twisting. What did Angrboda want in exchange for Balder's safe return?


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: To all my readers reading this chapter, I must extend my deepest apologies. I messed up when I posted chapter 2, and posted chapter 3 in its place. I've corrected it now, but since you've all already read this chapter, there's no point in waiting until next week, is there? Sorry!**

**#**

Despite the circumstances, Odin was curious to meet Laufey's half-fire-demoness daughter. Would she be like her father, stupid and arrogent, he wondered? He stood on top of the golden steps leading to his throne, waiting for the Einherjar to escort the Jotünn princess in.

He kept his face hard and stern when they came. The girl was clearly out of her element, her gaze flickering to the impressive structures around her, working hard to keep the foreboding and awe off her face. She wore the crown of her forefathers, the same one that Ymir had worn during his negotiations so many years before, and the one that Laufey wore when he invaded Alfheim shortly after his father's death. Odin's grip on Gungnir tightened.

The Einherjar stopped halfway up the hall and bowed to their king. Angrboda hid her uncertainty well, striding forward another few feet ahead of the guards. She knelt on the flagstones and then bent over so that the tip of her jade crown was almost touching the floor.

Odin stamped Gungnir against the floor. The Einherjar filed out. The fire-frost giantess stayed prostrate on the floor.

"Rise," Odin commanded.

Angrboda got to her feet, her blue hands brushing at her red skirt.

"These floors are never dirty, Lady Angrboda," he informed her, striding forwards. "You are showing your anxiety."

"Forgive me, my lord," Angrboda folded her hands together, her head still bowed, "I have never been instructed on the delicacies of any court, let alone one so grand as this."

Odin studied the young princess. She could only have been in power for a few years at most, but from what he knew of Jotünn politics that power would be severely limited until Laufey's first wife – _his sister, _Odin thought with disgust, _it is no wonder thy fell so easily_! – died, or Angrboda married.

"Hardly unexpected, considering your species and heritage. In the future, suffice yourself with a curtsy or a bow. Also, you will look me in the eye when I speak to you."

The girl raised her head.

"We have met before, if you remember," Odin said conversationally. "You were a child."

"I remember. I had just won your battle for you."

Odin raised his eyebrow. "You presume to take credit for that victory?"

"Indeed," Angrboda turned as Odin circled her. "I overheard Laufey's generals discussing strategy for when your army attacked. And so when I heard that you had arrived, I ran to my father and advised him to do exactly what they had been strategising. I knew that he would never take the advice of a woman, let alone a girl. He would do the opposite. And I begged him to take the Casket to battle, knowing that he would leave it behind just to prove he needed no protection."

Her voice was flat, her expression emotionless. She could be lying. It seemed implausible that a child would betray her own people in such a manner!

"And what, pray tell, were your motivations?"

Angrboda shrugged. "I was hoping that you would kill Laufey. You did a great disservice to Jotunheim when you did not."

"In my realm, such talk would be treason."

"In mine it is wisdom."

"Enough of this," Odin's voice was patient, but he noted with satisfaction that Angrboda's glance flickered to the spear in his hand. "What is it that you want in exchange for the safe return of my son, Lady?"

The Jotünn princess was silent for a moment. "I am afraid I am not certain how to word my request."

"Just say it," Odin advised. "Although one hardly has to guess. The Casket of Winters."

"No, my lord," Angrboda shook her head. "The Casket is a weapon, useful only for destruction. Jotunheim has seen enough of that. I wish to rebuild my people, not fritter away precious resources and lives on conquest and war. No, I have no need or desire for the Casket of Winters."

Odin's brow furrowed. "What, then?"

The blood-red eyes looked steadily at him. "The Casket wasn't the only thing you took from the temple that day. Laufey's son."

Odin felt his one remaining eye widen. No. He struggled to find the words to speak. "That infant died shortly after returning to Asgard. He was too close to death when I found him."

"It seems that Balder the Bold did not inherit his father's talent for lying. He spoke of the reason he came to Jotunheim, to find a possession of Laufey's slave Farbauti for her son, who had been raised as his brother. Farbauti only bore one child before Laufey murdered her."

"Loki is not Laufey's son. He is mine."

"He is Laufey's son enough," Angrboda retorted. "And he is the key to my people's survival."

"Your request is ludicrous. Do you think I would trade the life of one son for the other?"

"That is the trade you make no matter which way you choose, my lord. We need Loki in order to bring stability back to our realm. Without him we die. Why should we spare Balder, then? At least a war would bring a swift end to our misery," Angrboda's voice had become brittle and sarcastic.

Odin gritted his teeth. "This does not have to end with bloodshed."

"No, it does not," the girl agreed. "If Loki returns with me to Jotunheim."

"Perhaps I will not allow you to return to your home until my son is returned to his."

"My life is worth far less then Balder's to Jotunheim at this time, My Lord. It would be more useful to trade him for a single hammer." Angrboda paused. "My only desire is for a world where children do not go to bed with bellies aching from hunger. Laufey refused to let my people rebuild after his war, brooding in futile thoughts of revenge. Our artisans were bound in chains if they did not forsake the brush for the sword, and many died in such a manner. Our plowshares were beaten into shields and spears, our land crippled from disuse."

"And how can Loki reverse this?"

"Power in Jotunheim is divided between too many. But with Laufey's firstclaimed son standing beside Laufey's firstclaimed daughter, authority will fall upon the two of them."

Odin remained silent, narrowing his one eye as he studied her. The Jotünn looked back, her anxiety showing in her face now. She appeared to be telling the truth, but Frost Giants and Fire Demons both were cunning, cruel peoples. Could he trust the word of one who had such a mixed heritage?

But how could he leave Balder in the hands of Frost Giants?

"I will have to discuss this with Loki," Odin said, clipping his words tightly to hide his heavy heart. "I will have an attendant take you to some comfortable quarters to wait."

Angrboda bowed her head. "Of course, my lord."

#

"She wants me?"

Loki struggled to keep his expression neutral as he faced Odin's emotionless visage. Thor had briefly told him what had transpired on Jotunheim before a guard had come, summoning Loki to stand before the king. Thor had walked with him, but was turned away at the door.

"That is what she says."

"I see."

The young god could not help but notice how matter-of-fact and brisk Odin was when explaining what Angrboda demanded in return for Balder's safety. Did this man who raised him as his son care so little? The Jotünns knew it was Loki who had lured Laufey away from Jotunheim. Even if they did not know that it was he who had killed him, he was to blame for their king's death in any case. They could even know that it was he who had attempted to rip their planet apart with the bifrost. All of Angrboda's talk of rebuilding was an obvious lie. Would Odin really send him to face Jotünn vengeance?

With a sinking heart, Loki realised that it didn't matter. It was Balder's life on the line. He had to go. If he did not, his brother would die. And he could never, never let that happen.

"When do I leave?"

Odin's gaze remained emotionless. "You are willing to go with her then?"

"I do not see how I have any other choice. It is Balder's life at stake."

"There could be other ways to retrieve Balder."

"No there isn't," Loki snapped back. "Do not act like I am a fool, Allfather. Balder would pay the price of whatever strike you could muster."

Odin was silent.

Loki swallowed, turning away from him so he wouldn't see the fear in his eyes. "Will I be allowed to take any of my possessions?"

"You may take whatever you can carry."

Loki nodded once, and left Odin's presence without being dismissed. He brushed past the guards waiting out the door and stalked to his quarters. Once there, he sank onto his head and buried his face in his hands.

"Gaea did tell me that my destiny lay outside Asgard... Perhaps this is it."

_Perhaps it is time for my death._

The prospect sent chills through him. It had been less than a week since he had thought that it was the best for everyone, himself included, if he was to end. But he was shown a glimmer of hope, a light that he clung to, and realised that he did not want to meet Death yet. He wanted to run from her a little while yet.

No matter. Loki stood, pulling himself together. He would go to Jotunheim and face whatever was there with dignity. After all, they couldn't possibly torment him worse than what he had gone through before!

Quickly, he began to pack.

#

Odin dreaded each step that brought him closer to where Thor and Frigga were waiting for him. Neither was going to react well to sending Loki to Jotunheim!

He briefly wondered at how readily Loki had agreed to Angrboda's demands. He would have expected a plot of some sort, but given Loki's attack on Jotunheim, why would either part accept an alliance with the other? Besides, while he could doubt Loki's character and trustworthiness, he could not doubt how much he loved Balder.

The king was brought out of his thoughts as he walked onto the balcony where his wife and eldest son were waiting. Both looked at him expectantly.

"What does the Jotünn woman want with Loki?" Thor asked at once.

Odin sighed and went to lean on the balcony. Frigga put her hand over his.

"Odin? What does Angrboda want?"

"The Frost Giants will only release Balder if Loki returns to Jotunheim."

"What?" Thor's voice mingled disbelief and outrage. "Why?"

"They still believe him to be Laufey's son," Odin explained. "Angrboda claims she needs him in order to bring stability back to the realm."

"You can't let them have him. It must be a trick, they'll kill him!" Thor responded. His blonde brows were drawn together. "Isn't there anything else? Perhaps if we offered them the Cask-"

"She made it clear that she, at least, is not interested in the Casket." Odin leaned heavily on the balcony. "What would you have me do? I believe that Angrboda is truthful in what she says. Loki... will be returned to Jotunheim. It is Balder's life that is the price if he does not. I have already spoken with Loki," he added, sensing Thor's building anger. "I would not force him to go. He agreed on this course of action."

"But-"

"Thor. The decision has been made."

Thor stared at him in disbelief. Without another word, he stormed from the balcony.

Frigga closed her eyes, taking a deep shaky breath. "You're sending him to his death."

"I do not believe so," Odin told her confidently, though he wasn't so certain as he tried to sound.

"I know you too well for that, Odin," Frigga replied harshly. "Do not lie to me."

"I am not lying, love," Odin took his hands in his. She pulled them away. "I do not believe that Angrboda wants Loki dead. But... I doubt that belief."

"Is there no other way?"

"Not without risking Balder's life."

"I see." Frigga wiped at her eyes. She opened her mouth, but remained silent.

Odin's shoulder's slumped as she headed for the door. "Frigga-"

"I am going to say goodbye to my son. You and I will have to speak later."

"Frigga, please."

Frigga paused.

"If there was any other way..."

"I know, Odin. I know. But my Balder is in the hands of those monsters, and the only way to get him back unharmed is to hand my Loki over to them. So forgive me for wanting to spend a little time with _my son_!"

Odin wanted to go with her. He didn't. He couldn't move.


	4. Chapter 4

Loki was taking a single satchel to Jotunheim with him. It was filled with half a dozen books. Everything else he could conjure with magic, if he needed it. Thor walked slowly with his brother as they headed for the stables. Thor had dismissed the guards that accompanied Loki everywhere.

Frigga had stayed in the palace after a long and private talk with Loki. Her eyes were red from weeping. Odin was waiting for them at the bifrost. What other good-byes could be said? Loki's face was pale, but determined.

"You'll tell Sigyn before Balder can tell Nanna?" he said briskly.

Thor nodded, his heart heavy. "You should tell her yourself."

"Thor, Sigyn and I have not been close since we were children."

Thor rolled his eyes. "You risked your life mere weeks ago to save hers, and she is the only person besides Mother and Balder that you have expressed concern for."

Loki bowed his head briefly. "I merely thought... Those children can't keep their mouths shut, I would not want her to find out by a slip of the tongue. I still care about her. You know that."

"I know." Thor was starting to fall behind Loki's quicker pace. "I keep thinking, that maybe..."

"Stop thinking. It only gets you into trouble."

"If we could contact Atum-"

"There is no guarantee that we could, and no guarantee that he would come. And if we wait to see, it could be too late." Loki stopped and looked back at him. "We cannot risk Balder's life hoping for Atum's aid.

"He could bring you back from Jotunheim."

"Thor, the Jotünns may still be weakened from Odin's victory all those decades ago, but are they so weak that they could not harm other realms? No, I have only one choice in this matter. Besides," Loki began walking again, "Gaea did suggest that I explore my birthplace. And perhaps the Jotünns will be more than willing to throw me back once I tell them that I am Atum's son, not Laufey's."

Thor raised his brows. "You intend on telling them that?"

"No," Loki replied briskly. "But it is a comforting thought."

"Are you at least taking weapons?"

Loki rolled his eyes. "What did I just say?"

"I do not like this, Loki."

Loki remained silent. Thor tried to read his expression. His brow was smooth, but he kept looking around, as though expecting that this was the last time he would see these sights.

"No, I cannot let this happen," Thor said abruptly, forcefully. "We can-"

"Enough of that, Thor!" Loki snapped. "You remember what Atum told me when I was a child, that someday I would cause Balder's death? I cannot let this be that day!" His carefully schooled expression slipped for a moment and Thor saw the fear in his eyes.

Thor's gaze dropped to the floor. Trading one brother for the other... No matter what happened, how could he ever forgive himself?

"Don't look like that."

"Like what?"

"Like this is somehow cosmically your fault. You are not all-powerful, Thor, stop acting like you are- Stop _thinking_ that you are. You know, that is the most annoying thing about you."

"And the most annoying thing about you is that you think you're the smartest person in the universe!" Thor replied hotly.

"You only think that because I'm smarter than you and you're envious."

Thor did something that was supremely out of character for him. In fact, it was more suited for Balder. Instead of arguing back, he grabbed Loki and pulled him into a hug. Loki reacted as Thor expected he would. He made a yelping noise of disgust and tried to punch him in the ribs.

"Let go of me!"

Thor only hugged him tighter.

"Thor! This is not the time to get sentimental!"

"When is the time, then?" Thor retorted, but nonetheless released him.

Loki straightened out his jacket. "Never."

"Loki-"

"I do not want to hear it."

Thor nodded silently. They continued.

#

Angrboda folded her hands together as she waited. Her stomach twisted with anxiety. What if the Aesir changed their minds? She would not risk a war, and if Odin demanded the return of his son or face invasion, she would have no choice but to do as he said. Perhaps her terms had been too hasty, too much- But Laufey's firstclaimed son! It was more than she could have hoped for, finding that he was alive. Not only living, but a prince of Asgard! Surely if he took his place among his mother's people, Jotunheim would finally be able to build a future...

_Do not hope for things that are not yet here_, Angrboda told herself sternly.

She looked at the magnificent city in the distance. If only her home was half so beautiful! The buildings were taller than anything she had seen, even the icy mountains of Jotunheim. Although what such a tiny people needed with such large buildings, she couldn't fathom.

Odin, dressed in full armour, was speaking softly with the far-sighted Heimdall. Angrboda wasted no thoughts wondering what they spoke of. Instead, she watched the two figures on horseback approaching. One was garbed in red, the other in green. The elder princes. Her heart sped.

"Lady Angrboda."

Angrboda turned. Odin was staring at her with his single eye, a look of loathing and disgust plain on his face.

"If anything happens to my son," he started warningly, "it will be Jotunheim that pays the price."

Angrboda bowed her head in understanding. If only Gunnlod would understand that! She would have to be careful with the old queen, her aunt. Gunnlod would not relinquish her power willingly. And she would use her fool of a son Helblindi to keep it...

The Fire-Jotun turned back to the bridge. She recognised Thor quickly. Next to him was the dark prince, Laufey's firstclaimed son. He was slighter than she had expected. Shorter, yes, but also thinner. His body was lean and lithe, unlike the hulking forms of most Jotünn warriors. Perhaps a sign of his mother's Vanir heritage? His hair was black, like Farbauti's had been, but that was all the familiarity Angrboda saw in him. No-one would ever think this pale, pink little man would have Jotünn blood in him!

He glared at her with emerald-green eyes. There was such undisguised disgust in his expression that her heart fell a little. She ignored it, though, and studied him with unabashed curiosity.

"How do I know this is really him?" she asked, not bothering to try to sound polite. "He looks like the rest of you."

"Do you accuse the king of Asgard of falsehood?" Odin asked warningly.

Loki strode forward. "Hold out your hand."

Angrboda raised a brow, but did as he said. He reached out, hesitated a moment, and then put his hand in hers.

"Fascinating!" she breathed as she saw his skin take on the same hue as hers.

Loki pulled his hand away as though she was carrying a disease. Well. That was going to present problems!

"If you would wait over there, Lady?"

Though spoken courteously, the Allfather's words were not a suggestion. Angrboda moved to the position he had gestured to. She frowned as she watched his bid good-bye to his stolen son. Neither looked particularly affectionate. Was it anger at being forced to return to his birthplace, or were the rumours true, that there was no love lost between these two?

The four warriors that had come with Thor to Jotunheim to retrieve the young Balder were with him again. The handsome fat one's voice carried to her, whispering doubts, and she forced herself not to react. It was no wonder that a breed of liars would assume lies from all others!

Soon enough, they all joined her at her spot. Thor stood between her and Loki. The bifrost activated, and Angrboda braced herself for the confusion that was to come.

#

"Wake up, little prince."

Balder jerked upright at the booming voice. He rubbed his eyes and stretched. Recoiled when he saw a giant blue face close to him, but recovered soon enough. "Oh, hello... Helblindi, right?"

"I have received word from Angrboda that you are to be returned home."

Relief poured over Balder. Although he had been treated far better than he expected- good food, entertainment, yummy ale, and when he was exhausted they put him in a giant bed that was as soft and warm as... well, as a really good bed.

"Excellent!" Balder wiggled out from under the blankets and hopped down to the floor. "Although I don't suppose I could have a spot of breakfast first?"

Helblindi rolled his blood-red eyes and snatched Balder up. He set the young prince on his shoulder. Balder took it as a no. He prepared himself for the blast of cold as Helblindi took him outside. It was worse than he expected, and he shivered, hunching down. The three Jotünns that had kept him company (or rather, guarded him) the previous night joined them. Balder saw no one else, not even Angrboda's wolf.

They passed out of the clustered buildings quickly, crossed over a river that flowed sluggishly (Balder asked why it wasn't frozen but received silence in response) and went over a snowy hill. Balder saw Angrboda's fire-hair, and then a grin broke across his face. Thor and _Loki_ had come to get him! Odin was beginning to trust his middle son again. There were the Warriors Three and Sif as well, of course. Maybe they were all getting along again.

"Well, here he is, unharmed and fatter than when he arrived," Angrboda said as Helblindi set Balder on the ground. She walked over to join the other Jotünns.

Balder managed to smile at Thor, who looked so grim that it was scary.

"Balder," he said, gesturing him to join them.

Loki's look was equally grim, and he started walking forward to meet Balder. At least, that's what Balder thought.

"I was trying-" Balder started to explain, not liking the expression on Loki's face.

Loki walked past him.

Balder stopped. "Loki?"

Loki turned. "Go home, Balder."

"I don't understand," Balder's brow furrowed. He glanced back at Thor and his friends. Thor's brows were drawn tight and his jaw set firmly. Balder looked back at Loki. "You're not coming home, too?"

"A bargain was made, little prince," Angrboda explained, her voice crisp in the cold air. "Odin's youngest son delivered safely in exchange for Laufey's son."

Balder's stomach dropped. He stared at the giantess for a moment, and then at Loki. "No!"

"Go home," Loki repeated.

Balder felt tears well in his eyes. He launched himself at Loki, catching his brother in a tight hug. "But I wanted-"

"Don't say anything," Loki murmured, just loud enough for Balder to hear. "Don't cry. I know you were trying to help. It's alright, Balder. It's alright."

"I wanted to get Farbauti's journal," Balder sobbed, trying to be quiet. "I wanted-"

"Shhh. Everything is going to work out, I promise. Think of it this way, I'll be able to find the journal myself. Now go home, brother. Mother will be beside herself with worry. And just think of how poor Nanna must be feeling! After all, she hasn't seen her husband-to-be for nigh a day!"

Balder laughed despite his tears. "Nanna doesn't even know I'm gone, does she?"

Loki smiled at him. "She will think you very brave when you tell her the story."

"No, she won't. She's going to call me an idiot." Balder's lip trembled. "I'm sorry, Loki."

"Just... just be happy, Balder. And stop taking such risks."

Balder wiped at his face. "I love you, brother."

Loki turned him around and pushed him towards Thor and the others. Balder almost did hear his whispered goodbye.

#

Loki had never felt so alone as when the bifrost descended and took his brothers away. He suddenly wished he had said more, to both of them. Wished that he had embraced them both, told them that despite everything, he still cared. He still loved them and would always love them. But the time was gone and he could not bring it back.

He turned abruptly from the bifrost site, and looked coldly at Angrboda. He would not face Death as a coward.

She was looking at him with an expression of triumph. Her four bulky companions were inspecting him quizzically.

"Helblindi," she said, turning to one of them, "I trust that you will say nothing of this to your mother?"

Helblindi cleared his throat. "No, my lady."

"Good. Then I shall take our lost kinsman back to my abode, to begin to explain something of our home-" she looked at Loki and smiled. "His new home."

Was this some sort of twisted joke?

"Come," the fire-Jotünn said over her shoulder as she started away.

Loki wished for a sword and followed.


	5. Chapter 5

What was the Jotünn's plot? Loki's brow was dark with a scowl as Angrboda took him to a building that could not possibly be large enough for her. Short as she was compared to the other frost giants, she would have to bend though the doorway.

"Wait inside for me. I have some business to attend to briefly."

Loki stalked into the building silently. It was as dark as the rest of the realm, the only light coming from a thin strip of some luminous material that arched the domed ceiling. It was cold, too, and Loki fought his shivering. He could have magicked warmer clothes on, but that would show weakness on his part. That was something he would not do.

There appeared to be a fire pit in the center of the room, and furs lined the floors and walls, but there was no furniture of any sort. Loki took off his book-filled satchel and waited.

Angrboda returned shortly. To Loki's surprise, she strode into the building with no trouble at all. She stood at roughly the same height as he did. She had abandoned the jade crown and traded the wine-red gown for a knee-length, sleeveless sheath dress. She looked at him as one would look at a favourite dog that had run away and finally returned.

"I expect that you're cold. Asgard's temperatures are far from the ice of Jotunheim."

Loki was silent.

Angrboda went to the fire pit. Kneeling beside it, she took a knife from under the furs and tilted her head to the left. Loki inched forward, curious despite himself. The Jotünn grabbed a handful of her fiery hair and sliced it off. Instantly, it seemed, a tendril of fire lashed out from her head, dropping down into the empty space. She dropped the severed hair into the fire pit and blew on it. Soon there was a crackling fire.

"Of course. Half Fire-Demon," Loki muttered, joining her next to the fire. "Fascinating."

"I had this building made from stone, so the fire can be a hot as you need it," Angrboda said. "Heat doesn't bother me anymore than the cold does."

Loki held his hands out to the fire and then frowned. What was going on here?

"Why do you look like you expect me to push you into the fire?"

"Perhaps I am," Loki replied, narrowing his eyes at the woman. "Why am I here?"

"Did the Allfather not tell you what I told him?"

"He told me. I do not believe that, though."

Angrboda's expression did not change. "I did not truly expect you to-"

"Then why-"

"But it is the truth." Angrboda paused. "Why would you expect me to want to kill you?"

Loki contemplated her for a moment. If she did not know already the full truth of the matter, should he inform her? Why not? At least then he'd be off his clump of ice!

"I killed Laufey."

"I suspected so. I heard that it was you who... encouraged him to go to Asgard. He was a fool, sacrificing whatever future Jotunheim could have had for thoughts of vengeance because he lost a war he should never have started. Personally, I find it no tragedy. As for the others-" Angrboda paused a moment. She sat, and gestured for Loki to do the same. He remained standing. "Laufey killed your mother."

Loki's brow furrowed.

"I do not know what traditions are in Asgard, but here the bond between mother and child is sacred. A slave has every right to kill his or her master, if that master has _raised a hand_ to the slave's mother. It is not common practice, true, because most masters take their slaves' children away from them for that reason. But Laufey killed your mother. Therefore, you were more than within your rights to kill him. Had you been raised on Jotunheim, it would be expected."

Loki was silent.

"How much of our customs do you know?"

"Not much," Loki admitted. "I have heard very little about Jotunheim other than what has been told in war stories."

"Then you have much to learn, if you are to take your place as Laufey's first son."

"Laufey was not my father."

"Neither was he mine." Angrboda chuckled at Loki's surprised look. "Laufey was what his wives refer to as a withered stalk. He produced no children except the two of us... it is not that large a leap to conclude that we were, in fact, fathered by other men."

"But you claim to be his firstborn daughter?"

"No. I am his firstclaimed daughter, just as you are his firstclaimed son. My mother the fire demoness gave me to Laufey when I was a child, so that her bloodline would not be tainted by my frosty blood. The man who sired me – most likely one of Laufey's old generals - never claimed his blood relation to me. Therefore, Laufey's claim became binding. In the eyes of Jotünn law, I am his daughter."

Loki frowned. "By that logic, I would be Odin's son."

"He claimed you after Laufey claimed you. So by our law, Laufey is your first father, and Odin is your second. I know it can be confusing, but that is the way it is." Angrboda paused. "Your ties to Asgard will be most helpful for us in the future, in rebuilding."

"Rebuilding."

"Yes. I intend on restoring Jotunheim."

Loki shook his head. "And why do you need me for this?"

"Because you are what I need in order to solidify my authority. It is tradition for the first son and first daughter of the previous king to marry. Only then can a new king be crowned."

"What?" Loki stood and began pacing. He couldn't believe it! "I will be no woman's puppet king!"

"Certainly not!" Angrboda laughed, but then her expression became incredulous. "You thought I was saying that you would be king? No, that is not the way such things happen here, Loki. The eldest, whether male or female, becomes king."

Loki stopped and stared.

"I will be king," Angrboda continued, standing. "You will be my queen."

Loki sputtered incoherently for a few minutes. "That's... you expect... ridiculous!"

He turned and stormed out of the room without a backward glance. He shivered in the cold, and knew he had no place to go, but what was that woman _thinking_? Much more of that talk and he would be more than willing to submit to whatever _real_ punishment that she had planned. Him, her _queen_? As if he would-

Loki stopped. Marry her. That was why she brought him back! He wasn't there because he was Laufey's "claimed son" and thereby held the authority needed for her to do what she wanted. He was there because she needed to _marry him_ in order to hold the authority she wanted! He felt disgust rise in him. _Marry a Jotünn_?

And Odin sent him to be the Jotünn's groom... Or would he be considered her bride?

"You do not even know the basic structure of our society, do you?"

Loki turned and glared at Angrboda. He hadn't heard her coming, and that was something that would be rectified.

"It's not safe for you to be wandering at this time. You would be taken for an errant slave-"

"Is that not what I am here to be?" Loki spat.

Angrboda's brow furrowed. She looked... disappointed? "I thought that Farbauti's child would be more intelligent."

Loki bristled anew. "What would you know?"

_Such an elegant response,_ he thought sarcastically. That was for sure to change how she viewed him!

"Farbauti was one of the few people in my childhood who treated me more than the half-breed daughter born to their king through an illicit affair with a fire demoness. If Laufey had claimed another daughter, one of full Jotünn blood, I would have become exactly like her. It was no secret! It has only been since his death that they have stopped calling me a dirty-" Angrboda stopped herself and her face smoothed out. "It matters not to you, though, since it is clear that you consider all Jotünns to be dirty beasts."

"Disappointed that I won't be the queen you thought I would be?" Loki replied with equal dispassion. "If you must know, I tried to destroy Jotunheim. When the bifrost fell on your world? That was me. If it wasn't for Thor's newfound conscious, I would have succeeded."

Angrboda blinked several times. She opened her mouth, and the closed it. She thought for a moment. "We will have to keep that a secret. Ymir knows what Gunnlod would do with such information!"

"What?"

Angrboda raised one fire-brow.

"Did you not hear what I just said? Why would I help you rebuild your world?" Loki shook his head.

"Because your little brother came here for a purpose. He wanted to find a journal that belonged to your mother."

Loki was silent. It wasn't long ago that he would have emphatically insisted that Frigga was his only mother. But that was before the memory he had of Farbauti dying to keep him from Laufey. "But how does that change anything?"

"I do not know if it does." Angrboda studied him. "Balder said he was seeking Farbauti's house. Would you like to go there?"

Loki frowned. Did he? Well, he might at least be able to find the book she had been writing it, perhaps come to know her a little... He nodded tersely.

She turned her back on him – _Doesn't she know I could put a knife through her before she could make a sound? _– and walked away without looking back. Loki hesitated only a moment before he followed her. They walked through the cold for some time, passing through larger domed buildings to smaller ones. Loki thought he saw flashes of pink faces in windows that were hurriedly blackened. Disgust twisted his gut. Slaves. Aesir, Vanir, it mattered not. How could the Jotünns make slaves of a people so much greater than them?

"This is it," Angrboda said eventually, stopping on a small swell.

Half buried with snow was another of the domed buildings. This one was separated from the others by a small wall that was only as high as Loki's waist.

Loki wasn't sure he wanted to proceed. "This is where he killed her?"

"Inside." Angrboda rested her hand on the wall. "They say when a person is unjustly killed, their spirit lingers until reconciliation is made," Angrboda murmured. "The temple where Laufey left you was where Grandfather Ymir met his death. I was told as a child he was struck down by rioters determined to dissolve his rule."

"And the truth?"

"A lover's jealous husband who realised too late his wife was consorting with the king. Nonetheless, Laufey had a temple constructed to appease his spirit. Farbauti, though, was a slave. Laufey claimed her death was justice. Yet he had the wall built only months later, and carved with runes to cage her spirit. He feared her, after Death."

_Superstitious fools_, Loki thought. "Ghosts of that kind do not exist."

"And you know this from all your Aesir learning?"

"Yes." Loki vaulted over the wall.

Angrboda shrugged. "Who is to say what is true in Asgard is true on Jotunheim? Perhaps seeing her son alive and whole will finally allow her peace."

Loki turned his back on her and made his way around the building until he found a door. The path to it was clear. So somebody did care for the area! Perhaps this was now the meeting place of forbidden lovers?

_Let us hope they did not have a rendezvous at the moment_, Loki thought, opening the door.

Either the person who cleared the path also cared for the interior of the building, or Jotunheim's cold had remarkable preservation capabilities. Loki entered, and was surprised to find it far warmer than he expected. A small bed of furs lay in one corner, a clotheslines was strung over his head, and the hearth looked as though it had been used a day ago. It looked exactly like it had in Loki's memories.

Loki stood still for a long time. There Farbauti had been cradling him while writing when Laufey came in. If he looked close enough-

His stomach clenched as he stepped toward the bed. There was a clear indent in the furs, and next to it, an ink stain and an overturned inkpot. A quill lay on the floor. Closer to the wall were hand spun blankets. His blankets. From when Laufey's wife had ripped him from his mother's arms.

He picked up the blanket and was surprised at how soft it was.

"You loved me very much," he whispered.

A tear slid down his cheek, suddenly touched by this woman he had never known.

"_My son_," a soft voice breathed in his ear, and then a warm touch on his cheek, wiping away his tear.

Loki jerked away from it, his eyes widening. No. He was imagining things. But his heart pounded and he dropped the blanket. Quickly he went to the hearth and found the loose brick from his memory. The journal was inside. Tucking the book into his jacket, he left the house.

#

Angrboda left the Aesir prince in her small abode, and set Fenrir to watch guard over him. They hadn't spoken as they returned from Farbauti's old house. His shoulders had been hunched, his arms held stiffly at his sides, but it was obvious he was cold. Just as obvious was his disgust for her and everything she had suggested.

This was not what she had expected. Yes, she had thought there would be difficulties, but this... Had he been taught nothing of his mother's culture?

She had walked as far as Cavern's Lip before she decided that she had best get back to the city. Her mind still churned. What was she to do?

Fenrir whined at her when she walked back up to her small abode- the only place in the city where she could have absolute privacy, the building too small for the other Jotünns. She also usually kept it too warm for them, as well. It pinched to be small enough to fit inside, it was true, but being uncomfortable was worth it.

Loki sat near the fire when she ducked back inside. He stared into the depths of her severed hair, a book in his hands. It was closed, and his fingers caressed it. It was precious to him, whatever it was.

"I was with you when Odin found you, the day he took you from Jotunheim," she started, joining him by the fire.

Loki was silent.

"I did not know until a week later that Laufey had killed Farbauti."

"Odin went to the temple to get the Casket of Winters," Loki said quietly. "You pinched me so that I would cry. So he would notice me."

Angrboda's brow furrowed. "How do you know that?"

"I recently was... trapped inside my mind and I remembered." Loki looked at her. "Why did you?"

"I... I was a child. I did not understand everything the way I do now."

"That is not an answer."

Angrboda noticed that the fire was dying. She pulled a chunk of hair over her shoulder and sliced it off, throwing it into the pit. "I did not want you to grow up like I had," she paused. "I hated him, you know. Laufey. He was an awful king, a terrible person, and even worse as a father. I thought that it was because I was only half-Jotünn when I was young, and I knew that you weren't full Jotünn either.

"I heard stories told by captive Aesir," she continued. "They made Asgard sound like a paradise. I knew there was no hope for myself to go there..."

Loki looked down at the book in his hands.

"I was determined that he would never hurt you, like he hurt me."

They sat in silence.

"That book," Angrboda said eventually, "where did you get it?"

"Farbauti's house. It's her journal, she was writing in it before Laufey killed her." Loki paused a moment. "She was beautiful."

Angrboda's brow furrowed. "I suppose I've never thought of that."

"She was."

The Jotünn princess moved closer to the Aesir prince. "What did she write?"

"I haven't read it yet."

"Read it to me, then."

Loki looked at her quizzically.

"I remember Farbauti fondly. I would know more about her."

"I don't trust you."

Angrboda shrugged. "You have no choice but to trust me. I think that is what rankles you."

"Surely there may be others on this- On Jotunheim that you could marry so that you can claim your kingship."

"It is not that simple." Angrboda moved a little closer again. "It is not a simple matter of being married, Loki. Perhaps you are thinking that if I was a man I could be king with no queen, but that is not the way our kings and queens are crowned. They must be the former king's firstclaimed children, and if they are not available, they must be the former queen's firstclaimed children. There is a period of five years, mourning for the fallen king, and then the next is crowned. Those five years are almost up."

"And who are the queen's firstclaimed children, who are so objectionable?"

"Helbindi is her son. He is a good enough man, considering his heritage, but he had no desire to rule. He is not a leader, he relishes following the lead of others, and none lead him as strongly as his mother, Gunnlod, Laufey's sister and first wife." Angrboda shivered. "She needs only claim any female as her daughter, she could take an infant to be molded in the way she desires. And then who will there be to defy her?"

Loki's green gaze pierced her. "What would become of you?"

"Laufey's firstclaimed daughter? Perhaps Helbindi could convince his mother to allow me to live as his wife. He is quite fond of me... But more likely Gunnlod would use my fire-demon heritage to confine me as a slave at best."

"And there is no other place you could go?"

"My Jotünn heritage would be cause for instant execution on Muspelheim, now that Surtur has taken control. Why the woman who birthed me sent me here to be raised instead of killing me is a mystery that will never be solved." Angrboda spoke bitterly. "You can understand, can you not?"

"I never knew I was anything except Odin's son until shortly before I killed Laufey."

It was ridiculous to feel saddened by that, but Angrboda did. She had hoped for _someone_ to understand what she went through... "Stay for three months. Learn about your mother's people. At the end of that time, if you are still disgusted by us, you can return to your home."

Loki did not respond. Instead, he opened the book in his hands and began to read.

#

_My mother taught me to read and write in the language of her people. It is not forbidden to slaves, but what use of it do we have?_ Farbauti looked at the dark ink on the otherwise clean page. She caressed the gentle swell of her stomach. _I am not sure what I want to write for you, my little baby, but I want you to know the story of how you came to me. The story of your father and I. Atum the golden sun-god and Farbauti, the half-breed Jotünn slave._


	6. Chapter 6

_ I love Jotunheim. I love the mountains of ice, the terrible beauty of the Cracked Plains. I love the light of our sun, blue, hushed, as though its secrets are to be shared only with those who truly need to know. Even thought I hate being cold, I love how the snow looks as it falls. I love the rainbows that dance through the ice in summer, and the tiny rivulets of water made from the melting snow. I love working in the fields and tending to the fire at night to keep the plants warm. I hope someday you can see these wonders._

_ When I was a child, my mother would tell me stories of her home on Vanaheim while we snuggled in the center of the bed we shared, trying to stay warm. She told me of tree taller than men, of beautiful flowers as big as your hand and every colour imaginable-_

"Is that true?" Angrboda interrupted Loki's reading.

"Is what true?"

"That you plant things just for beauty."

Loki nodded.

Angrboda thought for a moment. "It must be an ugly world that you have to do that."

"Asgard is beautiful," Loki snapped. "But what would _you_ know about true beauty on this desolate _rock_?"

Angrboda's red eyes glittered. "What would _you_ know about Jotunheim when you do not use the eyes in your head?"

She pushed herself up and smoothed down her dress. Loki glared at her as she left.

"Were I out of this realm!" he seethed, tossing Farbauti's journal aside. He quickly checked to make sure the pages hadn't crumpled, and then pushed himself to his feet.

How long had he been here? He couldn't tell. He was indoors night and day, and the darkened windows showed no difference between the two. Angrboda kept the fire stoked with her hair and he was never cold, but the food! Loki had never tasted anything to bland, and only ate because his body demanded it.

And that _woman_! Angrboda was the only being he saw besides that gigantic wolf of hers, and she was… well, her company was pleasant enough, and her wit was sharp, he supposed, but she really knew next to nothing! Even the simplest of references to classical literature was lost on her. _Jotünns_.

The only reason he read the journal out loud to her was so that they would have something to talk of, and she simply refused to read it herself.

Loki sighed, sitting down next to the journal once more. He caressed the cover for a moment and then opened it again.

_She told me of trees taller than men, of beautiful flowers as big as your hand and ever colour imaginable. I wondered at how such things were possible, but also how anything could be more beautiful than my world._

Loki closed his eyes, knowing already what he would read next. Farbauti's clear, smooth writing turned smudged and tiny of tuckers in the page were testament to tears shed.

_Laufey called for me last night._

It was late, and the night was clear, making it all the colder. Farbauti shivered while she collected the brandy she had been ordered to bring, and walked to Laufey's abode. He had already emptied one bottle when she arrived, and took the one she brought, drinking straight from it. He nodded towards his fur bed, his eyes already rover over her.

Farbauti steeled herself. He would surely notice the gentle swell of her belly, drunk as he was. She only hoped that the one time he had called for her after Atum's last visit was enough to convince him that it was his child. If it was not, she would be dead by dawn. Even if Laufey did think that she carried his child, he would be furious that she had not told him. And yet, if she did not instantly obey him, if she spoke before being spoken to, he would strike her, perhaps worse depending on his drunken mood.

He might hurt her baby.

"What do you wait for, slave?"

"My lord, I…"

Laufey stared at her coldly. "I do not call you for your unimpressive mental faculties or to stare at your beastly face."

"I am with child," Farbauti whispered.

Laufey blinked slowly. "With child?"

"Yes, my lord." Farbauti's heart pounded. Was he arrogant enough to claim the child, or would he know? Would he demand to know the father's identity? Would he believe when she told him it was the sun-god?

Laufey staggered towards her. He was more drunk than she had thought. Farbauti flinched as he grabbed her by the neck and dragged her forward. His putrid breath made her gag.

"Do you lie to me, wench?"

"No, my lord."

Laufey roughly pressed his hand to her belly, probing the curve. "My cursed first wife has given birth to a son, but that is the product of her thawing second husband. I must have a son. Her wretched fruit will not inherit _my_ throne. I will ensure that I have a son."

Farbauti's heart sank and her stomach churned. She knew how old mothers told their children how to ensure the sex of their babies. Feed the mother woman's essence for a daughter, and man's essence for a son.

"Please, my lord," she begged as Laufey pulled her towards his bed. "I am so tired."

Laufey blinked his blurred eyes, his brow furrowing. He stared at her for a long time before dragging her down with him. "A strong son I will have. But you are weak. You are tired? Then sleep. Sleep so you will be strong for the morning."

He collapsed into his bed, his arm heavy around her waist, and was soon snoring.

_I thought of putting a knife in his heart. I thought of it often, but I am not brave enough. I would be killed for such an action. Horribly. I will be mocked and scorned as I die. And now, you would die as well._

_ I saw young Angrboda playing with the dogs when I left Laufey's house this morning. I fear for her future. As the daughter of the king, she will have some protection, but with Laufey as her father, how much?_

"Angrboda?" Loki said when she silently brought him a meal of soup.

"What?"

"How do you grow crops here? And where do you find fuel for the fires, for that matter?"

"You want to criticize our methods of sustenance now, too?"

"I-" Loki took a deep breath. Apologising was hard, even for a silver tongue such as his. "I am sorry for what I said earlier. I was angered by what you said of Asgard."

Angrboda contemplated him for a moment, and then said stiffly. "I have never seen a flower."

Loki couldn't hide his surprise. "You haven't?"

"I have never left Jotunheim except my brief voyage to Asgard."

Loki wondered briefly if she would not be so ignorant if she had been raised in Asgard, as he had. On sudden impulse, he closed his hands around the spoon he held and nudged it around with magic. His hands glowered and when he opened them, a perfect silver rose lay on his palms. He held it out to Angrboda.

"Well-" she took it. "That seems a waste of a spoon."

"You know, it is common practice in Asgard that when one is given a gift, they _thank_ the gift-giver, rather than criticize him," Loki informed her bitingly.

"I do not see the use of it."

"It doesn't have a use, some things are just for looking pretty. You complain about Laufey turning your artisans into soldiers, but when faced with art, you complain about it having no use!" Loki shook his head. "Which do you want?"

"I…" Angrboda stared at the rose. "Thank you. But now how are you going to eat?"

Loki looked at his soup. He plucked out a piece of meat with his fingers and popped it into his mouth.

Angrboda knelt down. "Food is grown during the summer, when the ground in the Green Valley is thawed enough to work. Nights, we have fires lit around the gardens, and young plants are covered with furs to keep them warm. Our harvests are plentiful, although they weaken every summer. We need new land, but I do not know where to find it. I have thought of perhaps melting the ice to start new pastures, but where?"

Loki chewed thoughtfully. It would be possible to find fertile ground under ice if one was a skilled agriculturalist, he supposed. "You store the harvest, then?"

Angrboda nodded. "For the most part, though, we hunt. Men must help provide for their children until they can hunt for themselves, and sisters provide for women who are with child or caring for young too small to accompany them. Husbands will sometimes help, but what woman wants to be dependent on a man?"

Loki couldn't help but smirk.

"If a servant hunts, they may be sent to gather meat for their masters, but they cannot be deprived of enough meat to feed themselves and those in their families that do not hunt. If a servant starves, then his or her master is punished for murder. Masters are also expected to provide for their slaves, but may withhold food from them. And in these times… many are dying."

"Do you have slaves?"

"I have never seen battle."

Loki raised one eyebrow. "So?"

"Slaves are captured in battle or gifted to a person on their wedding or for the birth of a child."

Loki was silent for a moment. How was he expected to conform to Jotunheim when they had such practices as this?

"Do you not have slaves in Asgard?"

"No. It is a primitive-" Loki cut himself off.

"As for fire, it is unneeded for the most part," Angrboda said after a moment, her eyes flashing at Loki's unfinished sentence. "A frost giant can be frozen straight through for a hundred years and be thawed as find as though he had been merely sleeping. These walls hold out the driving wind."

"And yet you surround your gardens with fire. How?"

"There is a fungus that grows in the ice caverns. We dry and burn these for cooking, and to keep the slaves not of Jotünn Blood alive in winter."

Was she trying to provoke him?

"But obviously, _I _need no such thing," she continued. "Though I suspect _you_ would be _helpless_ without me."

"Helpless?" Loki sprang to his feet. "You are the one who cannot take the throne without _me_!"

"Helpless!" Angrboda repeated, louder. "A soft baby man raised by soft, useless folk-"

Black rage rose hot in Loki's chest. "_Never speak of my parents in such a manner_!" he shouted, clenching his fists.

"Lay a hand on my, and it will be the last thing you do," Angrboda said, her voice calm and deadly.

The words surprised Loki. But far from placating him, it only made him angrier. "I do _not_ hit women!"

Angrboda responded by getting to her feet, brushing down her dress, and storming away.

#

Odin reined Sleipinir to a stop and dismounted, and then helped Frigga down. Together they strode into Heimdall's observatory.

"Young Balder is sleeping," the gatekeeper said, nodding towards his guest quarters. "He has scarcely ceased asking how Loki fares."

"I hope that he had not been a nuisance," Odin replied, letting Frigga go ahead to collect their son.

"He has." Heimdall paused. "Thor's persistence on the matter has not been helpful."

Odin nodded. "I will speak to them." He hesitated. "How is he?"

"Angrboda is most hospitable to him. She attempts to teach him of his mother's people. He resists, but they are growing closer."

Odin frowned, but wasn't Loki's closeness to the Jotünn princess a good thing? "Is he safe? She does not plan anything nefarious?"

"Not that I have witnessed."

Odin nodded once. There was so much he wished he has said to Loki before he had let him go to Jotunheim. Even now, he constantly had to fight the desire to march a full battalion to the icy realm to retrieve his son. But what would happen if he did?

Frigga came out of Heimdall's guest quarters, Balder sleepily following. His eyes were red from weeping.

"Can't I stay?" he asked plaintively, and Odin shook his head.

"You are neglecting your studies."

"What use are studies?" Balder complained, but nevertheless with his head bowed followed his parents out.

Odin glanced back at Heimdall. The gatekeeper would say if there was anything to tell, he reassured himself, and helped Frigga onto Sleipinir again.

#

_I miss my mother every day_, Loki read. _She was always the one I could rely on. They found her at the bottom of a ravine. She never, ever, took the path that would have left her there. I try to tell myself that not even Laufey would be so cruel, but I can't help but think-_

The door opened, emitting a blast of cold air. The dying fire flickered, and Loki shivered. Angrboda stalked in and threw herself down by the fire.

"Are you ready for more lessons?"

Loki set a ribbon between the pages. "That is not much of an apology."

"Why should I apologize? You haven't."

"That is childish."

"Would you like to have some more time by yourself to pout?"

Loki opened his mouth and then closed it.

Angrboda held his gaze challengingly for a moment, and rubbed her temples. "This isn't going how I thought it would."

"How did you think it would go?"

"I thought... well, I thought that somehow bringing you here would magically solve all my problems. That I would finally have an ally... who treated me... Not the way everybody else treats me."

Loki ran a hand through his hair. "I'm sorry."

"What?" Angrboda's brows furrowed suspiciously.

"I am sorry." Loki met her gaze. "I agreed to learn more about Jotunheim and I have not lived up to my end of the agreement. Please give me another chance."

Angrboda contemplated him in silence, and then nodded. "One more chance. Now, you need to learn the names of the members of court. Besides me, there is Gunnlod, still queen, and her son Helblindi who sits at her feet. There are four old generals that have been part of the court since Ymir's days, although your attack on Jotunheim killed off most of Laufey's staunch supporters... Which I suppose is something worth thanking you for."

Loki smirked as Angrboda continued, listing names and ranks of court members. She spoke with such confidence...

_Stop it,_ _Loki_, a voice in his head murmured. _Three months, and then back to Asgard. You have Farbauti's journal, that is all you wanted from this icy realm_

_Yes, _he thought. _I have Farbauti's journal. That is all I want._

But in the meantime, at least he could admire the way Angrboda's hands moved gracefully as she described how he was supposed to approach her as compared to Gunnlod.


	7. Chapter 7

The thing about living in a single locale for days or weeks on end with only one companion was that Loki got very bored very quickly. He often thought about just leaving and exploring, but that confounded wolf was always standing guard and he didn't relish the thought of getting torn to pieces. In short order, he had read through the books he had brought from Jotunheim and Farbauti's journal several times. Since Angrboda left him alone most times and provided distraction only as long as she yelled at him, Loki ended up sleeping most of the day. As a result, he would often wake to find the fire-Jotünn staring at him.

So when the time came for the roles to be reversed, Loki slipped out of his bed and sat next to the dim fire, staring at her.

"Let's see how you like it!" he muttered with glee.

She didn't wake, and Loki found himself gazing at her with an entirely different reason. She was curled against Fenrir's pale underbelly, her head resting on her lithe limbs. There was a softness about her as she lay there. Vulnerable. The hard lines of her cheekbones and chin were less pronounced, her hair falling in flaming waves.

He understood, very suddenly, why she liked watching him sleep. The trust there was in sleeping, being utterly defenceless with another being in the room was... extremely intimate.

Loki shook the thought from his head, and quietly retrieved Farbauti's journal. Sitting next to the dim fire, he flipped through until he found the passage of when his mother realised that she carried him.

_I knew the moment you were conceived. It is a gift among Jotünn women, though I was never certain that I would inherit it, being half-Vanir. The moment when I knew I would carry you was the deepest of my life. I can feel you, little one, inside of me, growing day by day. You're as warm as your father._

_ I have often wondered if Atum knew as I did. I suppose I never will know. I should have told him. It is my largest regret that I did not. At least then I would know for certain that he knew, instead of constantly wondering if would still have left._

Atum kissed her forehead, his arms around her, as he settled back on the bed. Farbauti rested her head on his shoulder, closing her eyes. He was so warm, she didn't need any of her blankets. The soft glow of warmth in her belly made her lips curl into a smile.

"Are you alright?"

Farbauti pressed herself to Atum's warmth and nodded. He always asked. Always concerned for her.

"Are you hungry?" she asked.

"No."

"Can I do anything for you?"

Atum carded his fingers through her hair and he kissed her again. She smiled and lifted her face to his, prolonging the kiss. She thought about telling him what she knew occurred just moments ago, but what if she was wrong? She knew she wasn't... but what if she was? She wasn't going to risk him thinking she was trying to back him into a corner.

She rested her head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat. It was strong, just like his arms around her, like the muscles sculpted under his golden skin. She traced the shape of his muscles, loving how Atum kept carding his fingers through the knots in her hair. This closeness, this unity, she had never felt with anybody else. She wished that it could last forever.

"Are you afraid?"

"Of what?"

"Me."

"No." Farbauti looked up, confused at the question. His ice-green eyes gazed at her with such longing that she had to repress a shiver. "I am afraid of this war, though."

"The war with Asgard."

Farbauti nodded. "If Asgard wins what will become of me, Laufey's..." she floundered. His slave, yes, but his lover, too. Or were lovers only those who loved each other? She shared his bed but only because she was afraid of the consequences should she refuse. "What am I? I am not even his concubine. But I could still give him a son. He remains childless by his wives... But this war has had one benefit. He has not had time to want me in nigh a year."

Farbauti pressed herself closer to Atum. She hoped that Laufey would die in this war, but thus far the Aesir had not been so gracious as to kill him.

"I have heard that the war goes well for Jotunheim."

"And if Laufey is victorious, what happens then? It was announced that Odin has a son. In the middle of this war, life still grows. If Asgard loses the war, the child will be killed, and Laufey will make his mother watch." The thought of having to watch her own child made Farbauti's heart clench with fear. She would have to entice Laufey soon, so he would think that when her belly swelled with child, it was with his seed.

She shivered at the thought of willingly going to Laufey's bed.

"Laufey could not make his mother do anything," Atum said in a half-amused, half-angry tone. "He does not know who the child's mother even is."

Farbauti frowned. "What do you mean?"

"Odin's wife did not give birth. Did you not wonder why the son was announced, not the son's birth nor the queen's pregnancy?"

"I thought, because of the war, Odin would want to protect them."

"No. The little Aesir prince is my brother. Gaea has chosen to give Odin an heir."

Farbauti pushed herself to her elbows, looking at her lover's face. He adverted his eyes, trying to mask the sorrow on his face. She wanted to kiss away his sadness. "Have you seen him?"

Atum slid out of the bed and began to dress, his shoulders tensing. "No. Nor have I any intention to ever meet the mewling whelp."

Farbauti pushed herself up her brow furrowing. "He is your brother, though."

"So?"

He hardness of Atum's voice made Farbauti gaze sadly at him. He turned and looked at her. No. He stared at her as though he was trying to memorize her face. He sat beside her, putting his arms around her, and kissed her deeply.

So this was it. Farbauti smiled sadly when Atum pulled away. He never kissed her before he left.

"Good-bye, my lord."

Atum's brows rose. "Good-bye?"

"You have never kissed me like that before. You mean not to return."

He cupped her face, his ice-green eyes not leaving her blood-red ones. "Good-bye, Farbauti."

She would miss the way he said her name. If she told him about the warmth in her belly? Or would he think that she was lying to make him stay, or take her with him? Fear wrestled with hope. Would he take her with him? Would he take her away from this place? But where would she go? Jotunheim was her home. Her mother's and father's bones were here. She belonged to the ice. There was no-where else for her to go.

And maybe, just maybe, this wasn't goodbye, not yet. Maybe he would come back. But he wouldn't if he thought she was attempting artifice to keep him.

"May I tell you something first, before you leave?" she whispered. There was one small truth that she needed him to know.

Atum nodded.

Farbauti talked hesitantly. "The first time you came- I had decided to end myself that night. But then... you were there. You were so warm and gentle and... I love you. I needed you, and you were there."

Atum rested his forehead against hers. He closed his eyes, and his voice was hardly more than a whisper. "I needed you, too."

Farbauti closed her eyes and breathed deeply. "Good-bye."

"Good-bye."

_I should have told him. If I could now, I would. But I didn't, and I can only hope that one day, eventually, that he and I will see each other again. That you will know the man who was your father._

Angrboda cried out in her sleep. Loki glanced up from the journal to see her pressing herself against Fenrir's belly, shivering and cowering.

"Papa, no!" she screamed, and jerked awake. Her blood-red eyes met Loki's ice-green ones across the fire. In an instant, she was on her feet, angrily brushing down her leather dress, her hands shaking.

"What are you doing?" she snapped.

"Reading." He held up the journal as proof.

"Waste of time," she declared.

"You're only saying that because I was witness to you having a bad dream and now you're angry and embarrassed."

"What would you know?"

Loki shrugged. He set aside his book. "Are we really going to get into this again?"

Angrboda's eyes narrowed. "Get into what?"

"Fighting. That's all it seems we do, and to be quite honest I am getting tired of it."

Angrboda hesitated a moment and then sank to the floor again. "We don't always fight, but I do see your point. But it's not like I can seduce you into agreeing to be my husband, can I? You find me disgusting."

Loki frowned. "No."

"No?"

"No. I think you're clever and determined, and you know what you want." Loki closed his mouth for a moment. "And... It seems to me that Jotunheim would benefit from your rule."

Angrboda's head tilted. "I can't rule without you."

Loki looked down at the journal. "You said you knew Farbauti."

"Yes."

"Tell me something about her."

"Is that a request or an order?"

Loki's lips twitched. "A request. Please tell me something about her."

"She was kind. I grew up being passed around by Laufey's wives because he couldn't be bothered to take care of me himself. Occasionally I was left in Farbauti's care." Angrboda picked at her thumb. "I was not as kind as I should have been, I think. She was very patient with me, though." She was silent for a long moment. "I was at her abode one day when Laufey sought her in his drunkenness. He was furious that I would spend time with a slave. She shielded me with her body, and sent me running away while she took Laufey's anger on herself, to spare me..."

Loki shivered. Angrboda saw and sliced off a chunk of hair for the fire. The light flared up. Fenrir rolled over and began to snore.

"If nothing else, at least we have our hatred for him in common," Angrboda murmured.

"You have more reason than me to hate him, though," Loki replied just as quickly. "But I am glad that I killed him."

"So am I. I wish I had had the courage to slay him far earlier."

"You would have been killed, though."

"But would Jotunheim be so ruined?"

Loki couldn't reply. He stood and paced away, sighing. "Do you really think that_ I_ could help you rebuild? I tried to destroy this place once before, and..."

"And what?"

"I once very nearly destroyed Asgard."

Angrboda's brow furrowed. "Perhaps a little bit of context is warranted."

Loki growled with self-annoyance. The woman didn't need to know his life story! "When I was a child, I inadvertently summoned Chthon to Asgard*. You know who Chthon is?"

Angrboda nodded hesitantly.

"He's an Elder god, a powerful demon bent on the destruction of the nine realms, the worse-"

"I said I knew! You don't have to assume that I'm lying to cover up my ignorance."

Loki shrugged. "He took Thor and Sif to the Flickering Realm, and I followed because I thought I could help." He stopped suddenly. He had never told anybody about this, except those who already knew. His eyes met Angrboda's, and he did not see the condemnation that he expected. Her gaze was steady. Not shrewd or cunning, just listening patiently.

"Sif, Thor and Sigyn were the only friends I had," Loki said quietly. "Chthon attacked Sigyn for being Jord's granddaughter. And Sif and Thor were taken to the Flickering Realm. I nearly killed the only friends I had... Others were killed that day. Sif's father, three servants and nearly a dozen guards. And that was when I knew..."

"Knew what?"

"That no matter how hard I tried to be good and great... I could be nothing but evil."

The rawness of his confession burned his throat, and he wished he could take it all back. And yet, it was a relief to finally saw the words that had weighed on his mind for centuries. Even when he had woken from nightmares to find his mother there, he had never really said what he meant. He suspected that he talked in his sleep, but she had never said anything.

"I don't think that you're evil." Angrboda said slowly. "I think you're stubborn and arrogant, but not evil."

"I think you're stubborn and arrogant, too."

"Thank you," Angrboda replied swiftly, and then she bit her lower lip and giggled. It was quite becoming.

_Stop it,_ Loki warned himself.

"I once stole a bottle of ale from Laufey's store," Angrboda said, her amusement dying. "And I hid it in a servant's abode because she had slapped me earlier. When Laufey found the bottle, he thought she had stolen it. He took her to the temple, summoned his closest generals... I wanted to see what they'd do, so I hid behind the altar and watched." She barely repressed a shiver. "It was before you were born, but I'm not certain how much earlier."

"What happened to her?"

"What do you think?"

"I don't know what Jotunheim would consider an appropriate punishment for theft."

Angrboda rolled her eyes. "Laufey was never concerned with the appropriateness of his punishments."

Loki's gaze dropped for a moment. "Were you discovered?"

"No. But a girl was killed in the most brutal of ways because I had an angry moment. That was when I decided that one day I would kill my father."

Loki paced away, thinking, but there wasn't far that he could go. He stood with his back to Angrboda and her wolf for a long time. The mood of the room was heavy. Too heavy. He forced a smile on his face and turned back.

"Were you really going to try to seduce me?"

Angrboda shrugged. "It was an option I was considering, before I met you. A desperate one, but a clever girl uses whatever means is necessary to reach her goal."

"Before you met me?"

"Yes."

"I must be truly repulsive then," Loki growled teasingly, stalking forward.

Angrboda's brows furrowed. "Are you trying to seduce me now?"

Loki stopped. "What?!"

"Don't look at me like that, you were being all..." Angrboda shrugged. "I have to go hunt."

Fenrir bounded to his feet, tail wagging furiously.

"No," Angrboda said to the wolf, cradling its massive head in her arms. "Stay with Loki."

The wolf whined and flopped back to the floor.

"Yes, you poor baby," the fire-Jotünn crooned, digging her hands through Fenrir's rough scruff. She hugged him and left without another word.

Loki stood still for a while before walking around the fire to pat Fenrir's head. The wolf huffed at him, but didn't pull away. "I guess it's just you and me and our thoughts. Seducing her. Why would she think that? Huh? As though I would try to seduce a Jotünn..."

He suddenly had the thought that she might be listening, and fell silent, feeling guilty.

**#**

***For more information, check out Marvel-Tolkien Fangirl's Shadows and Regrets.**


	8. Chapter 8

Farbauti pulled the blankets up around herself as she listened to the wind howling outside. She had blocked the window with cubes of ice, but the small building still seemed to be seeped in cold. But then, the house always seemed to be that much colder since her mother had died. There was nothing that could be done to help that, though, and Farbauti huddled down into the center of the bed, trying to get warm.

At least she knew on nights like this Laufey wouldn't come looking for her. He would be in his own housing, draped in furs. Feasting on a roast that dripped fat into the blazing fire-

"Be quiet," Farbauti told her mind and the growling of her stomach. "You will not freeze to death, your father's Jotünn blood flowing in your veins will ensure that."

Her mother's Vanir blood made it uncomfortable all the same.

Tears leaked from her eyes, and she slipped out of her bed into the cold. What was the point? She would survive this night, only to find more cold, only to find more loneliness. Laufey was the only person she saw with regularity, and she dreaded his approach. She went to her dead hearth and grasped her paring knife. Would the blade be large enough?

Who would find her? Would Laufey come raging that she was not there to slake his lust and find her cold and stiff? Would he mutilate her body for her defiance, for not letting him continue to use her at his will?

She closed her eyes and laid the knife against her wrist. She would not be Laufey's plaything anymore!

A knock rapped on the door. Farbauti opened her eyes. There, it came again. Laufey never knocked, he just entered and raged and took what he wanted. It could not be one of the other servants, for they would all die in this storm! Nor would it be her father… So who?

Farbauti hesitated only a moment before she went to the door. She could feel the cold through the hardwood door, a gift from her father after her mother died. She opened the door and gasped.

Standing in the snow was Atum. He wore a thin tunic and a pleated skirt of some sort. He seemed to shine in the storm. Farbauti's eyes widened, and for a moment she stared most rudely at him.

"Greetings," he said, bowing his head slightly.

"My- my Lord," she stammered, stepping back and opening the door further to allow him entrance. The room seemed to warm instantly as he did, and Farbauti thought that it was no wonder… after all, he was a sun-god!

"I-" the warrior started, and then cleared his throat. "I have business in Jotunheim and I thought of you."

Farbauti opened her mouth to question why he would think of her, but then closed it again. Perhaps he thought she knew more about this plot against Laufey he had asked of her before? But then why not just ask her now? "I… I am afraid I do not know what to say, my lord. I do not know anything-"

"I did not expect it," Atum interrupted. "I was merely wondering if I could show you something?"

_Now_? Was she dreaming? Farbauti nodded.

"Here," Atum made a gesture with his hands and then he was holding a golden cloak, which he thrust at Farbauti. "Wear this or you'll freeze."

Farbauti pulled the cloak around her shoulders, and instantly was as warm as a summer's day. A sigh of delight escaped her lips. She dropped the paring knife.

Atum left the house, and Farbauti followed. Wrapped in the golden cloak, the ice and wind didn't even seem to touch her. She watched the snowflakes drop with wonder; each seemed to glimmer with an internal rainbow.

Atum waited for her to join him on the rise of a small swell, and then silently began to walk. Farbauti found that it was easy to keep up with him; she was walking on the snow. She understood now why he wore no footwear! She stole glances at him from the corner of her eye. He seemed gigantic, far more imposing that any man she had seen before and yet he was a good head shorter than she was!

She didn't ask where they were going. To do that might break the spell, or the dream, or whatever it was, leaving her back in the cold with no-one but Death to turn to. Eventually, Atum stopped at Serpent's Lip, a giant cleft in the ice that descended so far into the darkness that it was said the crack went to the center of Jotunheim.

"Do you know the story of this canyon?" Atum asked.

Farbauti stepped closer to the edge. "I heard that long ago a demon lived on Jotunheim, when it was a planet of water and not ice. A giant snake that swam in its oceans and consumed everything. And then one day a demon of fire came, and a mighty battle waged. The fire-demon froze the planet to kill the snake but the snake rose up and bit the fire. For years they fought, until at last the fire struck down the snake, and cracked open the frozen ocean to bury him deep, deep down so that he would never be free. But the cavern could not be sealed, and the snake escaped and fled to another world, and the fire demon followed. But their war left Jotunheim as an ice wasteland, until the Jotünns came and conquered its harshness, scrapped life out of the snow…"

Atum stared down into the depths.

Farbauti bit her lip. "I can only imagine what the truth is. A giant snake, there may have been, but a fire demon? Perhaps, instead, a god of the sun."

Atum turned and raised an eyebrow at her.

She met his gaze, although a thousand stories of his danger ran through her mind. "Tell me the story."

Atum opened his mouth, but suddenly looked very hesitant. He looked back down at the chasm. "This wasn't what I wanted to show you."

"But we are here."

"Eons ago," Atum started, "before the Jotünns were a people, before any of the little gods, my uncle Set ruled this world… It was, as they say, a planet of water…"

_He talked all night. He spoke hesitantly while telling the story of how he drove Set from the ancient Jotunheim. As though he expected me to run at any moment. And that was how I knew that I would never fear him again. How, somehow, I knew that just by talking to me he was showing vulnerability that he showed to a very few. How I knew that he would never hurt me._

Loki closed Farbauti's journal. He had been on Jotunheim close to a month, he believed, and he found that Angrboda was quite a patient teacher, telling him histories and legends and customs. It was all so different from the world he was raised in that had it not been for Farbauti's journal he never would have been able to stay. Yet, the more he learned, he could find similarities between the Jotünns and Aesir.

"Is it true?"

He looked up at where Angrboda lay across the fire, staring at him with her blood-red eyes. "Is what true?"

"That you are the son of the sun-god."

"Yes." Loki put the book aside. "But don't think that he will suffer his relation to me to be used for political purposes. I do not even know how to contact him."

"I see."

"Do you?"

"Yes." Angrboda stood. "Odin is one thing, but to have your actual blood father in the picture would complicate things too much. It needs to be kept secret." She walked around the fire and knelt beside him. "You are very fortunate, to have something like this to tell you about them."

"I've already read through it twice," Loki murmured. "Why do you insist that I read it aloud to you as well? You can take it, for a day."

He offered the book to her, but instead of reaching for it she grasped his wrist. He pulled away before the blue could start to seep into his skin.

"I cannot present a small pink man as Laufey's son," Angrboda said. "You have to allow yourself the transformation, Loki."

"I don't intend to be presented as Laufey's son. Three months I promised, and then you promised I would return to Asgard."

Angrboda shifted, so that she was sitting rather than kneeling beside him. "You do not like feeling vulnerable."

"Neither do you."

"I was raised with bruises and scars. You know that. Isn't that vulnerability? Isn't that worth letting me see your mother's heritage in you?" Angrboda's fire-brows were drawn together, her voice pleading.

Loki rolled his eyes. "Do you think I'm so foolish to be manipulated so easily, Angrboda?"

"Manipulated?"

"You use Laufey's treatment at every turn to try to build trust and a connection between the two of us. And mentioning Farbauti? I am not so easily swayed." Loki couldn't help but smile all the same. "You are a master of the art, though, I must admit."

Angrboda laughed. "Then perhaps that is reason enough...?"

Loki ran his hand over his hair. "But then where will it end? Will you have me dress in the loincloths that Jotünn warriors wear, and shave my head to look more like them?"

"No. While we need you to look Jotünn in order for them to accept that you are Laufey's claimed son, we still need them to see your connections to Asgard. Certainly, it will anger some but I think that most will see the value in having relations with the Aesir." Angrboda moved a little closer. "But perhaps a different method of allowing your transformation?"

She was going to kiss him. He turned his head before their lips could meet.

Angrboda sighed in annoyance. "Am I still so repulsive to you?

"Darling, there are reasons besides disgust that a man would refuse to kiss a woman."

Angrboda's eyes narrowed. "As in...?"

Loki flushed, realising what she was thinking. He laughed all the same. "Love for another woman," he said. "Not what you're thinking."

"Ah." A pause. "Who?"

"It does not matter. She and I could never be."

Angrboda sat back, shaking her head. "An impossible love. That is the most dangerous. What, is she married to someone else?"

"No."

"Then why?"

"It has come to my attention recently that she is my cousin." Loki paused. "I know not the Jotünn traditions on such matters, but in Asgard a relationship between two so closely related by blood would be frowned upon, to say the least."

"On Jotunheim it would result in the death of the participants. Only the king and queen are permitted to marry a blood relative, and it can only be each other." Angrboda paused. "And I haven't told you yet, but the king and queen both are permitted to have as many wives or husbands as they desire."

Loki wasn't sure how to respond to that. "I..." he thought for a moment, and shook his head. "That, I suppose, is a discussion for another time. We are far from the topic at hand." He held up his hand and reached tentatively towards her face. "Tell me something about yourself."

"I've told you many things."

"About your culture, your planet. You've shared a story or two about your childhood. Tell me something that frightens you. Because..."

"Because this frightens you?"

Angrboda took his hand and pressed it against her cheek. He stared at his hand as it took on the hue of her skin, the cold creeping in from his fingers, sinking thoroughly to his bones. His heart sped and he fought the desire to pull away from her.

"I can't read."

Loki's gaze shifted from his hand to her eyes.

"I always wanted to be able to read, but no-one could ever be bothered to teach me. More than that, Laufey gathered all the books on Jotunheim and burned them after he was defeated by Odin." She started to move forward. Loki stayed still. "That is why I wanted you to read to me. Because... I can't."

Loki closed his eyes and pulled her head forward. Her lips were so cold! He felt her coldness enter him, spreading through him rapidly. He knew if he opened his eyes, he would be seeing the world through Jotünn eyes. That his skin would be Jotünn skin.

Angrboda kissed him harder, shifting to her knees to press the full length of her body against his. He could feel her shift under his hands, her form shrinking down to a size more suitable to his. Her fingers knotted in his hair and his hands were on her hips, pushing her down. She sighed in delight as his lips moved to her neck, and she swept her hair out of his way...

He pulled away.

She looked at him quizzically. "What's wrong?"

"I'm not ready for this."

Angrboda stared at him for a long time before nodding. She loosed her arms from around his neck, and sat back up as he moved away from her. "What is her name?"

"Sigyn."

"I suppose... now isn't the right time for such things anyway," she hastily got to her feet, pulling the fallen straps from her dress back into place. She was growing again to fill the dress. "I have a meeting with the court, and Fenrir doesn't like it when I spend too much time with strange men. You would think that he was a jealous lover instead of a pet wolf!"

Loki frowned as he watched her. He looked down at his hands. They were still blue. "Angrboda..."

"What?"

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. I let my passions run away with me, it was a mistake to start with. After all, we aren't even married yet!" she laughed carelessly, but Loki heard something under her care-free tone. He wasn't sure what it was.

"I can teach you."

"Teach me what?"

"How to read."

Angrboda stopped. She turned back to him. She opened her mouth and hesitated. "Will you?"

Loki nodded. "After all, you are teaching me about my mother's people..." he took a deep breath. "You are teaching me how to accept this." He held up his hands. "One good turn deserves another."

Angrboda hesitated a moment. "I will give it some thought. But now, Loki Farbautijarson, I must get to the court."

Son of Farbauti. She had told him that it was just as common to name children after their mothers as their fathers. But she had never called him such yet.

Angrboda left, and Loki stretched out by the fire made of her hair once more. He held his hands out before him, and was relieved to see that they had returned to their normal pink hue. He reached for Farbauti's journal, but did not read. Instead, he held it close and thought of Sigyn.

#

Angrboda walked slowly into her courtroom and took her usual seat, the one that had once belonged to Laufey. She had been delayed, having to go to her large abode to resume her natural size and dress in the fashion that was expected at court. A warrior's short skirt and breastplate. She didn't dare wear the king's crown, not here.

The intensity of the feeling that had swept through her when she kissed Loki had frightened her. She didn't want to journey down that path, not yet. Not ever. It was too dangerous.

She glanced around to find every set of eyes in the room were filled with hostility. Gunnlod stared at her smugly, a sneer curling her lip and a look of triumph in her eyes. Seated just below her was Helblindi. He would not meet Angrboda's eyes and with a sinking heart, she knew what had happened.

She was not ready to introduce Loki to the court. He was not ready.

"Angrboda, it has come to the attention of this court that you have been consorting with the Aesir," Gunnlod said, smooth and polite.

"Consorting?" Angrboda replied. "Perhaps."

There were murmurings of disgust.

"It came to my attention most recently that Laufey's son born to him by his slave Farbauti was not killed as we had previously thought."

Silence.

"Preposterous!" Gunnlod leapt to her feet. "What a lying wretch this daughter of a fire demon is! Laufey's son alive!"

"Alive, and returned to Jotunheim. His education as to our customs is sorely lacking, however, and I did not want to present him to the court until he knew how to behave properly." Angrboda took a moment to compose herself. "He was raised, after all, in Odin's court. But surely everyone here can see the benefits to Jotunheim to have a queen connected so tightly with a realm of that power?"

Gunnlod narrowed her eyes and the Jotünns began to murmur amongst themselves. Helblindi looked up at Angrboda at last, but she ignored him.

"You intend to marry him, then?" Bláinn asked. He was one of the wizened councillors that had been in the court before Ymir was king. He folded his hands and peered intently at Angrboda.

"If he can become a suitable mate."

Gunnlod took her seat again, her expression turning to one of false invincibility. "How are we to know that you are not grooming some slave to present himself as Laufey's son? Bring him forward, I say, let us see for ourselves who this 'son of Laufey' is!"

Angrboda's heart sunk a little further, but she did not let it show on her face. "If that is the court's wish, of course I will bring him forward."

"It is," Bláinn said, and the others nodded in agreement. "But I think, perhaps it is better for you to defend your deception to us, and send instead Helblindi to collect your father's first son?"

Helblindi stood.

"I do not believe that-" Angrboda started.

"You are not king yet," Gunnlod sneered. "And I am still queen. Will you defy the council?"

"Of course not," Angrboda replied as graciously as she could. She turned to Helblindi. "He resides at my little abode. Fenrir stands guard over him."

"To keep him from escaping?" Gunnlod sneered, but Bláinn did not allow Angrboda reply to it.

"You said he resides at your small abode?"

"He has inherited much from his mother's mother." Angrboda fought back a sigh. She was not defeated yet! "His look is very much like the Vanir or Aesir, so near, in fact, that he is hardly distinguishable from them at most times."

"Why would we want something like that as our queen?" Gunnlod sneered.

Angrboda has no response. She was attacked by all sides with questions and barbed comments for several moments before Helblindi returned.

Loki strode in, looking confident and sure of himself. His chin was raised, his gaze sharp. His green eyes sought out Angrboda at once, and seemed to read on her face that this was not how she hoped he would be presented to the court. He walked straight to her, bowed low, and put his hand in hers. He did not flinch or recoil as his form began to change to show his Jotünn heritage.

"Lady Gunnlod, men and women of the court, I present my half-brother, Loki Farbautijarson, first son of Laufey," Angrboda said evenly.

"Loki?" the name was muttered loudly with varying levels of surprise. Some had inflections of anger.

"This is Odin's second son!" Gunnlod exclaimed.

"His _claimed_ son," Loki corrected smoothly. "And he certainly gave none of my blood kin the chance to claim me first."

Bláinn stood, his eyes narrowed at Loki. "Never mind heritage, this is the boy that came to Laufey with promises to restore the Casket of Winters to us, for us to rebuild our realm. And what happened to Laufey when he went to Asgard trusting your word? He was murdered! And by whose hand?"

Angrboda opened her mouth.

"He is the one who must answer!"

"Laufey died by my hand," Loki responded coldly.

The court went silent. Every eye was upon Loki. Angrboda resisted the urge to interrupt; as Bláinn said, they wanted Loki's defense. He would have to prove himself now, or it was death for the both of them!

"This is the one that the fire-giant wants to rule by her side, as her queen?" Gunnlod said eventually, getting to her feet. She looked around. "He has admitted to murder of the previous king by his hand! What more needs said?"

"Perhaps, most gracious lady, that Laufey murdered my mother," Loki interrupted. He viewed the queen with a look of complete disgust. "And you helped him."

The silence was now so complete that Angrboda could hear the breath of each and every member of court.

"It is not often that a babe remembers being torn from his mother's arms, but I do. I remember her holding me close as you followed Laufey into her house. _"It is as I told you, husband,"_ you said _"Your little half-breed whore has given birth." _To this Laufey sneered. _"This creature?"_ said he." Loki paused, his gaze locked on Gunnlod's. Angrboda had never seen the queen look so frightened, and she liked it. Loki continued in a low voice. "But he did acknowledge me as his son. "_You thought to keep this runt a secret from me?" _he demanded_. "Undersized or not, he is my get, and my responsibility. I will not allow my offspring to be raised by a half-bred slave."_ And my mother begged and pleaded not to have me taken from her, but I was ripped from her arms.

"What did you feel, noble lady, when Laufey twisted Farbauti's small body to the floor? She was so much smaller than he; what hope did she have? Perhaps you would like to tell Farbauti's son how she deserved to die, how she struck against her master? The master who beat and raped her for years? The master she always suspected had a hand in her own mother's death, but had no proof other than his mocking words whispered in her ear? Or would you rather tell me how she feebly struggled to free herself from Laufey's hands around her throat, and how you stepped on her wrist so she could not fight?"

Gunnlod struggled to hide how unsettled she was. "He is repeating words told to him by this fire demon's daughter, meant to poison the court!" But her voice was rasped. The queen took a deep breath and composed herself. She straightened her shoulders and glared haughtily at Loki. "This is no proof that you are that babe. I demand that he go through the labyrinth."

For the first time, Loki looked uncertain. His hand was still in Angrboda's, and she felt him tense.

"I agree," Bláinn stood. "The labyrinth. The son of Laufey he may be, but is he strong enough to be the king's first queen? I say he has a month to prepare, and then he be sent into the volcano."

"A month!" Gunnlod repeated furiously. "Age has softened you, Bláinn, to give him so much time!"

"I side with Bláinn," Angrboda said quickly, standing as well. "A month, and then into the labyrinth."

Two more stood and voiced their agreement. Gunnlod was furious, and Helblindi caught Angrboda's eye for a brief second. He would side with his mother until the end. In the end, it was agreed, however; In a month, Loki would face the trials to prove his worthiness to be called Laufey's son.

#

"It is as I suspected," Angrboda said evenly, unbuckling her breastplate.

Loki turned to the wall, leaning against her giant wolf's side, watching her shadow as she removed the armour and skirt she wore, shrinking down to the size he was used to as she did so. She slipped a dress over her head and then came to sit beside him.

"You suspected that I was going to be sacrificed to a volcano?"

"Not sacrificed, and not just any volcano. It is known as the Lone Fires, the only volcano on Jotunheim." Angrboda looked exhausted, though she sat prim and erect. "Inside is a labyrinth, and at the heart of the labyrinth is a relic of ancient days. You will be required to return with it. No-one has ever succeeded before."

"Excellent," Loki muttered, rubbing his eyes. "I am to risk my life to prove my worthiness to be called the son of a man I detest!"

Angrboda shrugged. "You could refuse."

Loki gave her a look, and her golden lips turned into a smirk.

"I was going to warn you, before presenting you to the court." She paused. "You handled Gunnlod wonderfully, though. You are a quick study."

"I have a way with words." Loki scratched Fenrir's ears. The wolf rolled his head to the side and closed his yellow eyes in contentment.

There was a knock on the door. Angrboda frowned. "Enter," she called.

The door opened to admit a withered Jotünn, the one that had first agreed with Gunnlod that Loki should be sent to the labyrinth. Loki frowned. What was he doing here?

"Bláinn," Angrboda greeted, standing. "What do you want?"

Bláinn bowed low before the smaller Jotünn. "My lady, I came to give only a word of advice. You think that you are friendless in the court, but we are not all your enemies. Many of us wish for you to accomplish your goal; Jotunheim has suffered enough, we need stability. And for that," he looked at Loki, "we hope for your success, if the good of Jotunheim is at the heart of your quest. However, should you die in the Labyrinth, no tears will be shed for you."

"Understood," Loki replied evenly.

"Thank you for sharing your support," Angrboda said, but she sounded anything but grateful. "It would have been more appreciated in the face of Gunnlod's attack, however."

"You are quick-witted and adept at the wiles of court, but you have much yet to learn," Bláinn responded. He bowed again. "My lady." To Loki's surprise, the Jotünn then turned to him and bowed. "My lord."

He left.

Angrboda sat back down next to Loki, her brow furrowing. She shook her head. "Forget him. We only have a month to prepare you for the labyrinth."

"And," Loki added, "only a month to start your reading lessons."

"There is no time to bother with that foolishness now."

"Reading is not foolishness. Reading provides knowledge." Loki reached into his jacket and pulled out Farbauti's journal. "Knowledge is power. And you and I, I think, require all the power we can possibly have."


	9. Chapter 9

**This chapter is rated M because of rape content.**

**#**

Angrboda sat down next to Loki. "Read to me."

"Why don't you read?"

"Because I am exhausted with trying to gather the supplies you'll need for the labyrinth and reading gives me a headache."

"Fair enough." Loki picked up Farbauti's journal. "Where were we?"

"She was talking about how she came into Laufey's service."

"Right." Loki found the right page. "I hate that man."

"You aren't the only one."

Loki started to read. "_My father was concerned for my future, and so he decided to try to position me in the royal household, for their servants were always well cared for, at least to the outside eye._"

Farbauti stood behind her father, her head bowed, her black hair tumbling about her shoulders. Byleist was a giant of great stature, tall, broad. The scars on his body attested to his many years of service to the king. He was no general, but his name demanded respect. As the daughter of a slave, Farbauti should have been one of them. But as Byleist's daughter, she was afforded more respect than to be simply his property.

"She is a hard worker," Byleist was saying to Ymir as the king looked down at Farbauti with a critical eye. "Her mother's weak heritage shows, but for her small size my daughter is strong. She will be an excellent server in your house, my king."

"Step forward, girl," Ymir ordered.

Obediently, Farbauti walked forward and then knelt before the king. He stood and circled her.

"My son's last servant quit her position, foolish girl, and moved to another city. Perhaps your daughter can fill the position for some time." Ymir paused. "It is a great privilege to serve the prince of Jotunheim, girl. Remember that. Report to the kitchens, they will inform you of your duties."

"We are greatly honored, my king," Byleist said, bowing. "Come, Farbauti."

Farbauti got to her feet and followed her father. After they had left the court-room, he embraced her and kissed her forehead.

"Hurry along. You mustn't keep the prince waiting."

"Yes, Father," Farbauti replied with a smile, though her heart was sinking. She had heard stories of Laufey. "I will try to make you proud."

"Ah, my little snowflake, I am already proud of you. You are a strong young woman. This is so that you, and your eventual children, will be cared for in the years to come. My next task is to find a strapping young man for you to marry."

"Father!" Farbauti laughed. "Who would ever want to marry _me_?"

_I was not overjoyed to be assigned servitude to the prince, for I had heard that he was a drunkard and little better than a swine. But it was a good position, and I was grateful to my father for putting forth so much effort in my interest. My mother told me he was the gentlest man she ever knew. She was married on Vanaheim, before she came to Jotunheim. She only talked about the man to say that he treated her far worse as her husband than Byleist did as her master._

_ I know that if he had known what Laufey would do to me, he never would have put me in such a situation._

Farbauti watched her mother's stiff fingers with concern as Astrid cut a mushroom from the icy walls of the caverns.

"Mother, you should go home. It's too cold for you, and you are not well. I'll stay for a little longer."

Astrid's pale smile wavered in the torchlight. "You are a good girl, Farbauti," she said wearily. "Do not be too long."

"I won't."

Farbauti went back to work as her mother carried her basket out of the caverns. She hummed as she gathered mushrooms. She enjoyed the time in the caverns alone. The darkness was soothing, and she loved the way her voice echoed against the ice.

Her basket was full within an hour. She headed back up to the surface, but was only halfway out of the caverns when she came across a man slumped down on the ground. A half-empty bottle was in his hand.

Farbauti gasped. It was her new master, Prince Laufey!

"Who's there?"

Farbauti did not know what to do as Laufey stumbled to his feet. The prince blinked at her, and then a smile crossed his face. "Ah, it's you," he said, holding himself a little straighter. "My little serving girl. I have been looking for you."

"What did you wish of me, my lord?" Farbauti asked, bowing.

Laufey reached out and caught his fingers in her hair. "I find this strange, these fur caps that the little people and their children have. Is it real?"

He tugged hard enough to jerk her head. Farbauti yelped and backed away. "My- my Lord, if there is nothing you wish me to do, my mother is waiting for me-"

She moved to walk around him. He stepped in her way. He took a deliberate drink from his bottle and smashed it onto the ice.

"She can wait." He stared at her. "Remove your dress."

Farbauti's stomach clenched, and her eyes widened. She backed away further from the prince, but he followed after her. "My lord-"

"I am your prince!"

Farbauti stopped, her heart pounding, cold as Laufey's eyes roved over her.

"Lie down."

Farbauti clutched her basket of mushrooms tighter.

"Lie down! Do you defy your prince? You are my servant, you are to serve me and obey my commands."

If she refused, it could mean death for herself and her mother. Farbauti glanced at the shattered remains of the bottle and back at Laufey. "Please."

"Do as I say."

Tears burned her eyes. As Laufey watched with lusting eyes, she lowered herself to the ground. Laufey kicked her basket out of his way, pushed apart her legs, and kneeled between them.

Farbauti closed her eyes.

His hands were on her thighs, pushing her dress up. She grabbed at her hem, trying to keep herself covered. Laufey seized her wrists and falling over her pinned her hands above her head. Farbauti's eyes flew open as he kissed her. She turned her head.

"Do not refuse me," he snarled. "Look at me."

Tears falling from her eyes, Farbauti obeyed.

"Why do you weep? You are the servant of the prince, it is an honour to serve me." Laufey kissed her, and the licked at her tears. "A true Jotünn does not cry. Don't cry, my little serving girl."

He brushed her hair from her face and kissed her again. Farbauti stared back into his eyes as she had been ordered, and tried not to think.

_Drops of blood followed me to my home. I could feel it running down my legs. My basket was heavy, and I kept my head down, hoping that everyone else had already retired for the night, that nobody would see me. My mother was sleeping when I came to our house. I didn't want to disturb her, so I took a pumice stone and went outside again, to wash myself in the snow. It turned pink all around me, and my tears froze on my cheeks._

_ Laufey told me once that he enjoyed the taste of my tears. He said if I'd only cry for him more, he wouldn't hurt me so much. I don't care if it my tears would give me less pain. I will never let that beast see me cry again._

_ My mother cried with me when I told her, nearly three months after the first time, when she found me discarding the snow pink with my blood from Laufey's latest demands, the bruises on my body showing no matter how hard I scrubbed my skin. She told my father. He wept and kissed my forehead and pleaded my forgiveness, but there was nothing he could do._

"If any man treated my daughter in such a manner," Loki said, his voice shaking with anger, "I would kill him."

"Would you?" Angrboda asked.

"Yes."

The fire-Jotünn peered at him intensely.

"I wish I could kill him again."

"Once dead, forever dead is good enough for me." Angrboda inspected her slender fingers. "What does she say next?"

_ I thought of telling your father, once, as we lay together. Atum was sleeping, scars on his golden skin fading fast. I loved to watch him sleep. I knew for him it was the sign of ultimate trust in me. I don't know what he would have done, if I had told him everything that Laufey had done to me. But I did not want that man to ruin what little peace I had left in my life. If I said anything, Atum might think that I was using him for my revenge. I could never have that. I needed him too much. His presence in my life was the only thing that kept me going. It was the only thing that let me look in Laufey's eyes when he called for me. It was the only thing that kept me from weeping._

"How could he not know?" Loki put the book down and stretched his neck from side to side. "How could he possibly not know what Laufey was doing to her?"

"I didn't know."

"You were a child. He was her lover. There is a difference."

Angrboda shrugged. "Maybe he did know."

Loki snorted with disgust. "Maybe he did. Maybe he didn't care. And he dared say that he cared for her?"

Angrboda picked up the book and stared at the page hard. "Don't put knowledge into the heads of others. It only ends up disappointing us."

Loki watched as she struggled to make sense of the words, her eyes moving slowly, her finger pressed to the page, her lips silently forming the sounds. She was a quick learner, to have come so far with learning to read in such a short time. If he would admit it to himself, he was growing quite fond of her...

_The humans have a term for situations such as this,_ he thought, frowning as he searched his memory. _Stockholm syndrome?_

"What am I even supposed to get from the heart of the labyrinth?"

"Hmm?"

"The relic from the heart of the Lone Fires. What is it?"

Angrboda shrugged. "I don't know."

"How am I supposed to get something if I don't know what it is?"

"Legend says it is a powerful ancient object, but no-one knows quite what it is. I always thought it was a crown of jade that would bestow knowledge and power on the one who wears it. Our histories are full of such a thing… A crown carved by the God of Gods, which would only let the pure of heart handle it."

"Well, that would eliminate me right there," Loki muttered.

"I suppose that depends on what 'pure of heart' means."

"No, it doesn't. No matter which way you look at it, my heart is far from pure." Loki smiled briefly. "A quest for such an object would be better suited to my younger brother."

"Balder the Brave?"

"Balder the Naive more like it." Loki laughed. "You've met him. Can you imagine a heart more pure than his?"

"The boy who despises weapons and tells his enemies that he would rather hug them then fight them?" Angrboda chuckled lightly. "No, I can scarcely imagine how pure his heart must be. It is easy to see why he is loved by all."

_One day you will cause the death of the infant in your arms._

Loki's smile faded.

"You miss him, don't you?" Angrboda pressed. "That is why you look so unhappy."

"Yes, I miss him. I miss the days, before…" Loki trailed off, unsure of what he wanted to tell the fire-Jotünn. About how he wished that his family could truly be his family again. About how there were things that he wished he could say to Odin… "I forgive you" being one of them. The prophecy Atum gave long-ago, that one day Loki would end Balder's life. What could he trust Angrboda with?

She didn't press, and he was grateful.

"Well," Angrboda got to her feet. "I had best go hunt. You will need plenty of meat when you go into the labyrinth." She hesitated for a moment, and then put her hand on his shoulder. "And I am sure that your family misses you as well."

"Perhaps," Loki murmured.

"You did not see how angry Odin was when I demanded you."

"He did not seem so angry when he told me of your demands."

"Maybe because he's like you."

Loki looked at her quizzically.

"Afraid to show his true emotions. Afraid of being hurt by the ones he loves."

"That's ridiculous." Loki scoffed.

Angrboda shrugged, and then sat down. "I don't want to hunt. Read some more."

Loki shook his head. "Your turn."

"I told you-"

"The only way to get better is practise."

Angrboda glared at him for a moment, and she picked up the book. "You- your- fa-t-her-"

"Father."

"Father. Your father was the on-lie-"

"Only."

"Only lig... wait, let me figure this one out." Angrboda stared at the page. "Light. Your father was the only light in my live. Life."

Loki closed his eyes, listening to Angrboda's strong voice as she haltingly read.


	10. Chapter 10

Thor sighed heavily as he made his way into Jane Foster's house. He had spent the better part of a day pleading with his birth mother Jord to contact Atum to let him know of Loki's situation. If anybody could help… But the Elder Goddess refused and nothing Thor did would sway her. Not even appealing to her mother's instincts or reminding her that Loki was her grandson.

"He must find his destiny, Thor," was all that she would say.

"But he is to be sent into the heart of a volcano," Thor argued. "And Heimdall has searched that place where Loki is to be proved. The labyrinth is full of pitfalls and dangers, he will be killed!"

"He must find his destiny."

Thor walked into the kitchen to find Jane washing a porcelain dish. The smell of meat and garlic hit his nose, making his mouth water. He suddenly remembered that she was going to make a meal for them to share. He winced. Two candles were almost burnt out on the table, which was covered by a lacy cloth. Given what the place usually looked like, Jane had gone through a lot of trouble for this dinner...

"Did you talk with your mother?" she asked coolly.

"Yes," Thor replied, standing awkwardly, not knowing what to do. "She will not help, though."

"Too bad. I know how much this means to you... Actually, I don't. Because you haven't told me."

She could freeze the sun with that cold shoulder! "Jane, I am truly sorry for forgetting dinner-"

"It's not just dinner, though, is it?" Jane turned to him and dried her hands. "I waited a year, and I got nothing from you, not even a postcard. So the bridge was destroyed, all right, that's okay I can understand that. But you were here when Loki attacked New York, and you didn't even call. You were busy, I was upset but I can get past it. And then you were here _again_ with the Avengers!* Again, Thor, and you still didn't drop me a line, not even to ask how I was doing or to let me know you were too busy to see me right away."

"I was occupied."

"Saving the world, I know." Jane shook out her hand cloth and folded it up. She was wearing jeans and a plain shirt, but her hair was done up and Thor caught the scent of perfume clinging to her. "And then you just come walking in, telling me that you need a place to stay for a few days while you talk with your Elder Goddess mother but you won't tell me why."

"It is-"

"Personal."

Thor stared at Jane with a sinking heart. Her eyes were already read, and fresh tears were welling in her eyes.

"I can't be one of those girls, Thor. I _won't_ be. I am not going to spend my life pining over you, wondering when and if I'll ever see you again. I have things I want to do, places I want to see." Jane wiped at her overflowing eyes. "I don't even know what you want from a relationship. Do you?"

Thor opened his mouth, but found he had no reply. His gaze dropped to the floor. "I am sorry, Jane."

"So am I. But... I'm not going to wait for you anymore. I've met a nice guy, he's asked me out a few times..." Jane took a deep breath and then laughed at herself. "I'm not good at this sort of thing. But it's for the best."

"You are right," Thor agreed quietly.

"I hope that you find what you are looking for. I hope you'll be happy."

Thor tried to smile though his heart was heavy. He took Jane's hand and kissed her cheek. "I wish the same for you, Jane Foster." He stepped back.

"You can still stay here if you need to," Jane continued. "Darcy said that she bought a tub of ice-cream and will be disappointed if I don't show up to give her an excuse to eat it all."

"Thank you. I will be leaving tomorrow morning, so I can say goodbye to Erik and Darcy."

Jane nodded. "Look, when you've figured things out, if we are still a possibility, then maybe we can give it another try... And in the meantime, Darcy wanted me to tell you she's still available."

They both managed to share a chuckle at that, though the tears were flowing down Jane's face and burning Thor's eyes.

"There's food in the fridge if you get hungry, and, uh, poptarts in the cupboard. You remember how to use a toaster?"

"Yes."

"Good." Jane nodded. "Good-bye, Thor."

"Good-bye."

#

Loki woke to the most putrid smell ever to accost his nose. He gagged, rolling out of his fur bed. Angrboda was crouching over the fire, rotating some sort of creature on a spit. It sizzled, releasing its foul stench. Fenrir stretched out nearby, happily munching on something red.

"What _is_ that?"

"Manticore."

Loki wrinkled his nose as he walked forward. "It stinks."

"That would be the toxins burning out of it. Once the smell clears, it is fit for consumption. It is a vile meat and tough as shield-leather, but it is filling, and was the only creature I found on my hunt today." Angrboda grinned in amusement as Loki covered his nose with his hand. "Did you have a nice sleep?"

"I will disregard your sarcasm and answer sincerely; Yes, I did." Loki settled down. "You know, for all your talk of preparations for my journey into the Lone Fires, you have told me very little about what is _inside_ it."

"I have heard no stories of anyone coming out of it, except the king who had the labyrinth carved into the volcano."

"Why did he have it built?"

Angrboda rolled her eyes. "You still always assume that out kings are men. We have had as many women kings as men."

"Why did _she_ have it built, then?"

"She had a treasure upon which she wanted no-one to gaze upon save herself. It is said that she had ten thousand slaves carve out a maze of her own design in order that only she could decipher the twists and turns. Half of those slaves got lost inside and starved, and the other half was executed so that they could not give away her secrets."

"But is that not unjustified murder?" Loki asked swiftly. "Where are the ten thousand souls of those slaves wandering Jotunheim?"

"Why do you insist on mocking my beliefs, little boy?" Angrboda snapped, her hair flickering.

"Perhaps because every time you get angry you call me little boy and I will keep antagonising you until you stop!"

"No, it is because you think that I am stupid."

Loki opened his mouth and then closed it. "I do not think _you_ are stupid."

"So it's just my believes and culture you think are stupid." Angrboda's brow darkned. "Can you not set aside the beliefs of the people who were raised by and _try_ to look at things the way I see them? Did you not sense something in Farbauti's house?"

"A trick of magic and suggestion, nothing more."

"Trick?!"

"Trick."

Angrboda threw her hands in the air. "Perhaps those ten thousand are in the maze still and you will have to face them while you are trying to make your way to the center."

"Or-" Loki cut himself off as the fire-Jotünn glared at him. He swallowed down his argument. "What happened to the king who built the labyrinth?"

"She went in to gaze on her treasure, and died in the maze."

Loki looked down at the dripping manticore. The smell was starting to dissipate. "You expect that I will not return from the Lone Fires."

"No, I do not," Angrboda said, and then added quietly, "I hardly expect you will enter."

Loki was silent. He had thought of it. Calling down the bifrost, returning to Asgard and forgetting about Jotunheim. He ran his hand through his hair. Would Odin take him back? He was so _eager_ to be rid of him! And even if Odin was willing, why would Heimdall even inform him of Loki's request? No, it was never going to work.

"I-" he started, and stopped to gather his thoughts. "I have done many things that were less than honourable. I do not wish to add to the list. Angrboda, I swear I will try to the best of my ability to fill this quest. And afterwards, when I return to Asgard, I will ask Odin about perhaps sending a few agriculturists to help find more land for your crops, and to improve what you have."

"You will have a hard time negotiating with Gunnlod. She may be cleverer than Laufey, but she is just as prideful."

"I do not belong here."

"Then where do you belong?"

Loki opened his mouth, and hesitated. "I do not know," he admitted.

"I thought so."

"It would be a mistake for me to stay. For... For us to marry. I destroy everything I touch, everything that I love."

"I am not asking for love."

Loki pressed his fingers to his temples. "Love..."

Angrboda slid the manticore off the spit and ripped off a leg, which she offered to Loki. "What about it?"

"I always thought that it was important in a marriage."

"Love is a lie."

"Perhaps."

Angrboda shoved the manticore leg into Loki's hand and ripped off another one for herself. Loki watched her, and with a sigh tore into his meal. She was right. It tasted horrible, but he had come to know just how valuable food in this realm was and said nothing. After a long moment, he set aside the meat.

"I'm going to die in there."

"That is a self-fulfilling prophecy if I ever heard one."

Loki took a deep breath. "Angrboda..."

She looked up; warm red eyes met cool green ones. "What?"

"I-" he cut himself off. He was not certain what he wanted to say, so he moved around the fire and took her hand in his. The cold blue seeped into him, but he didn't break eye contact. With his free hand, he traced her golden lips, and then brushed his fingers through her warm hair. Cupping her skull, he leaned in, and so did she, but their lips did not touch.

"We do not have time for this," Angrboda murmured, putting both her arms around him, playing with the hairs on his neck.

Loki traced the curve of her hip with his hand. "I know."

Their lips touched gently. Loki pressed a little harder, and teased Angrboda's lips open. She sighed into his mouth, drawing him closer briefly before pulling away. Loki released her. She sighed again, dragging her hand through her hair.

"Can I ask you an intimate question?" the prince asked.

The princess narrowed her eyes. "If you are wondering if I am a virgin-"

"No, that is not what I was going to ask."

Angrboda twisted a strand of hair around her fingers. "Then what?"

Loki hesitated a moment. "What Laufey did to my mother... did he allow other men to do that to you?"

Angrboda's eyes narrowed further. "Would you think that I am ruined if he had?"

Loki shook his head. "My mother – Frigga – raised me better than that."

"Then why would it matter?"

"Because if he had, then..." Loki struggled for the words. "I would have another reason to hate him, for one."

"Not good enough."

"I'm sorry." Loki shook his head. "Normally I am much better with words..."

"But not so great with emotion, which may be your problem at the moment," Angrboda suggested sarcastically.

"Probably." Loki twined his fingers through hers. "If I make it out of the labyrinth, I'm not going back to Asgard."

"What?"

"I will stay." He looked up. "If you want me to, I will be your queen."

It sounded so strange, and yet, somehow... right.

Angrboda studied him. "Are you lying to me?"

"No."

"You would stay."

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Because I might not belong here, but I do not belong in Asgard. And Farbauti loved this world, and so do you. I should try to find out why..." he hesitated another moment. "And because I did sense something in Farbauti's house. And because I would not be able to live with myself if you... ended up like her."

Angrboda's gaze dropped to their hands for a moment. "I was Laufey's daughter. Any attack on me, he considered an attack on him. Except his own... There was a man, once, that made unwelcome advances towards me. Laufey had him castrated and hung by his ankles in the court square until he bled to death. It's the only thing I can ever be grateful to him for, ensuring that no man would ever attempt to use me is such a way."

Loki stroked her blue hand with his blue thumb. Once he was in full Jotünn form, she felt warm to the touch. "_Are_ you a virgin?" he asked, more from curiosity than anything else.

"Are _you_?" she answered swiftly.

Loki laughed, half embarrassed, half amused. He kissed her again, on the cheek this time. "Point taken."

Angrboda caught his head in her hands and kissed him passionately, straddling him, pressing her body flush to his. Fenrir growled, and Angrboda broke off the kiss, turning to glare at her wolf.

"Do not be jealous!" she scolded, and then turned back to Loki, tilting her neck to kiss his throat, neck, and jaw.

"I don't think your wolf is happy with this," Loki murmured, his hands on her hips. Fenrir's yellow eyes were fixed on them.

"He'll have to get used to-"

Angrboda was interrupted as Fenrir bounded to his feet, using one paw to bat them over. As Loki laughed and Angrboda scolded, the wolf nuzzled them apart with his muzzle and plunked down between the two of them.

"Crazy mutt," Angrboda muttered. She looked over Fenrir's paws at Loki. "Sorry."

"It's fine. We don't have time for this, anyway. Is killing a manticore anything like killing a bilgesnipe?"

"Much more difficult," Angrboda replied, reaching around Fenrir to grab a shank of meat. She tore into it. "You have to get the spear in at the base of their skull. They're slow, though, so they tend to fight rather than run. And one bite will kill you within hours."

"Lovely." Loki started to eat again as well. Fenrir pinned him down with a massive paw and licked his hair. "Angie, if I survive and we marry, there is one thing that I must insist on."

"Don't call me Angie. My name is Angrboda." Angrboda turned over and dug her feet into Fenrir's thick fur. "What is that?"

"We are not taking the wolf on our honeymoon."

**#**

***These events are from Marvel-Tolkien Fangirl's "Scarlet Dawn"**


	11. Chapter 11

"I looked for… forwa-r-d to ever… ever-i?"

"Every," Loki corrected.

Angrboda looked at the word for a long moment. "Every." She glanced up at Loki, who was lying next to the fire, his eyes closed, his hands tucked behind his head. She closed Farbauti's journal. "You've memorized it, have you?"

"Somewhat."

"Come read it to me while I follow along. My throat is getting dry."

Loki propped himself up. "You're doing exceptionally well, Angrboda."

"I can hardly read it."

"I wouldn't say that. You are incredibly clever, to get so far in such a short time. It's only been a few weeks, remember."

"I remember. You remember that tomorrow you are going to the Labyrinth?"

"How could I forget that?"

Loki stood and stretched before joining Angrboda.

"Are you afraid?" she asked him.

"Do you want to read or talk about my feelings?"

Angrboda shrugged. She hoped that the preparations she and Loki had done would not all end in vain. She hoped that she had told him enough, and that he was clever enough, to make it to the center and find whatever was in there.

She doubted he would come out alive, though. He still shivered in the cold! How could he survive the blackness of the Lone Fire's innards?

Loki cleared his throat as he took his mother's journal from her hands. He held it out so that she could read along with him, and pressed his finger to the words to show her exactly where they were. Angrboda leaned in and gently rested her chin against his shoulder, so she could see better. He responded by shifting ever so slightly closer to her.

"_I looked forward to every time that Atum came to me," _he read, his voice honeyed and strong_. "I never expected that he would come back, and my heart felt like it would burst whenever he did. He never demanded anything of me. He would ask. At times I refused just to see what he would do. He would nod, as though he understood why I said no. It felt exhilarating, to be able to choose whether I did something or not."_

Loki paused.

"What's wrong?"

"I cannot rule over slaves. Especially slaves that are my peo- my grandmother's people, and her kin."

Angrboda frowned. "But that is how it has always been."

"Just because something is how it has always been does not make it right. You were beaten by your father, you were refused learning. That was how it always was for you. Does that mean that is how it should have been?"

"I see your point," Angrboda murmured. "But what would happen to the slaves, then?"

"I am not sure," Loki frowned. "Many, I think, would want to return to their homes on Vanaheim, Asgard, Alfheim, wherever they are from."

"And many were born on Jotunheim, many are half-Jotünn. Where would they go?"

Loki thought a moment. "I don't know. But I can't rule over slaves."

Angrboda's brow furrowed. She still wasn't certain that Loki would enter the Labyrinth, let alone make his way through and return to help rule Jotunheim at her side. "I suppose we can try to introduce new traditions. We might be killed for it, though."

Loki looked back at the book. "_Sometimes he would talk, other times he would ask me questions, never pushing if I did not want to answer. Most of the time he would just stare into the fire, or watch me work. And then, three weeks after he first came to me…_

Farbauti watched Atum eat the hot porridge she had hastily made at his arrival. She noted how he favored his right side, using his left hand clumsily to feed himself. Silently, she took the bowl from him and unbelted his tunic. He stared at her with his green eyes, expression slightly puzzled, but he did not move or protest. Farbauti lifted his tunic gently. His whole side was bloody. The blood formed dried rivulets from a tightly bound shoulder, and the bandage was dirty.

Farbauti moved quickly, piling furs behind him and putting water onto the fire. She pulled out her store of woven cloth to find a piece large enough to replace the soiled bandage. She turned back to see Atum was still staring at her.

"My lord, I am hardly beautiful enough to warrant that," she teased lightly, bringing the box back to his side. He didn't shift.

Carefully, she unknotted the bandage and began to unwind it. The dry blood cracked and flaked. Underneath, there was a gaping wound in his golden skin. It was black and craggy at the edges and was weeping blood still.

Farbauti narrowed her eyes. What could cause so much damage to an Elder god? Gently, she probed the edges. The blackened flesh was hard and hot. Quickly, she gathered the dried herbs she thought might be useful and put them in a bowl.

"I never thanked you," she said as she added a little water and began to mash the herbs into a paste.

"For what?"

"The first time we met, when Laufey accosted that poor girl, and he offered me to you…"* The water was warm enough, and Farbauti took it off the fire. She dipped a cloth into it and began to clean Atum's wound.

"What about it?"

The blood came off his skin easily, but what should she do with that hot, burned flesh? "Thank you. For not..."

Atum closed his eyes and leaned back, breathing evenly. Farbauti finished cleaning his skin and wound, and then made a poultice with the herbs, and bound it in place over the black wound. When she was done, she sat back on her heels. He looked so different from when she first saw him. His eyes closed, leaning back on the furs, he looked… sad. Hurt.

Very slowly, she reached out and traced her fingers along his sharp cheekbones, and then down his jaw. Atum's green eyes opened. She loved the colour she saw there. Like jade. Like beautiful chips of ice from the Green Valley. Still moving slowly, she laid her palm flat against his cheek and leaned in. His lips were warm as she brushed against them.

Atum put his hand on her waist. She pressed her kiss a little harder, and then pulled away. She was surprised at how sweet his breath smelled. Nothing like Laufey's. Atum's hand moved up to her shoulder, and then down her arm. His fingers grasped hers, and then he kissed her palm.

She kissed him again. And then she lay back, looping her arms around his shoulders, being careful with his injury, pulling him down with her.

"Are you sure?"

Farbauti smiled and nodded.

Atum kissed her, gently, and propping himself on his elbow, he used his uninjured arm to pull her up a little off the floor, and spread one of the furs under her. She settled back down, letting her fingers explore the feel of his muscles bunching along his powerful shoulders. He was so warm. A fire in her world of ice.

"If I hurt you, or if you don't like what I am doing," Atum told her, brushing his fingers through her hair. "If you change your mind, if you have any doubts, tell me. I will stop."

He drew her in closer.

"_I never knew until then why so many women seemed to enjoy it. I never knew that it wasn't supposed to hurt. The only other man I ever had was Laufey. He was a boar. Atum was gentle. More than that, he was tender. He was patient with me, he took the time to make sure that he wouldn't hurt me, that I would enjoy it. And I knew that I would always be safe in his arms_." Loki stopped reading.

"You are so fortunate," Angrboda murmured.

Loki looked at her. She was still next to him; he could feel the cold of her skin radiating towards him, matched by the heat of her hair. "What do you mean?"

"That you have this."

"I don't understand."

"The words of your mother. Telling you that... she loved him. Your father."

Loki placed a ribbon between the pages. His chest ached with sadness. He should have met Farbauti. The more he read and reread her journal, the more he was certain that for her sake he could stay on Jotunheim, to rebuild the world that she loved...

"I was not conceived in love," Angrboda continued, her voice going soft. "I know nothing about my mother. Nothing about my sire. Why they... I have often wondered, but I do not want to know."

She stood, brushing herself off in the gesture that Loki knew was her attempts at covering up how vulnerable she felt.

_She is beautiful_, he thought suddenly.

"Angrboda?"

"What?"

He held out his hand to her. She narrowed her eyes, and then took it. Loki held his breath, watching as his flesh turned blue. "I should learn how to control this."

"I've been saying that for a while."

"Would you go with me?"

Angrboda furrowed her brow.

"To Asgard," Loki stood.

"What would I do in Asgard?" Angrboda shook her head. "Jotunheim is the only home that I have. I have hated people here, but I love this world. I couldn't leave it."

"You said that if Helblindi became king, Gunnlod would have you enslaved or executed."

Angrboda pulled away and walked over to where Fenrir was stretched out on his back, paws flopped over in the air. The wolf rolled over and licked her face. "Better die knowing who I am and where I belong than live in confused exile."

"What is it about this world that makes its people love it so passionately?"

"Do you not love Asgard?"

"Yes."

Angrboda settled down next to Fenrir. "Would you not die for her?"

Loki paced to the door and laid his hand against it. It was ice-cold, probably frozen shut, a testament to the storm raging on the outside. He shivered. If the storm did not pass during the night, would he still be required to go to the labyrinth the next day?

"If my life would save Asgard from destruction, I would walk into Death's grip willingly. But if I would rather die than live anywhere else, would I still be here?" He turned back to her. "What would the court think of an absentee monarch?"

"You are thinking that perhaps we could marry and then you return to Asgard?"

"The thought had crossed my mind."

"Neither of us are pure Jotünn. If we were, then perhaps the first queen of Jotunheim could live in self-exile without the king's power waning. But it will take both of us as a constant reminder of who we are to avoid an attack on us."

Loki had suspected as much. He wandered back to the fire and threw himself down in the furs. "What is stopping Gunnlod from killing us both now, so that there will be no challenge to her son's right as king, if the thought of we two ruling is so disgusting?"

"Because we are Laufey's claimed children. To kill us would be unjustified."

Loki rolled his eyes. "Back to that silly superstition, huh?"

"Silly?"

Loki steadfastly ignored the experience he had had in Farbauti's house. "Silly."

"You said you sensed something in Farbauti's house."

"I found a blanket she made me, and sensed that she loved me," Loki lied. "Nothing else."

"You're an idiot."

"No more of an idiot than you are."

Angrboda rolled her eyes and then lay down between Fenrir's massive paws. "You should get sleep."

Loki lay down and pulled a heavy fur over himself. He gazed into the fire for a moment, and then looked back at Angrboda. Her back was to him.

"Angrboda."

"I'm trying to sleep."

"Will you keep Farbauti's journal for me when I go into the labyrinth?"

"What use would it be to me?" she swiftly replied. "I can hardly read it."

"So what? I don't want it to get lost or destroyed in there. Also, if you're right and I die in there, somebody should have some knowledge of her left in the universe." Loki turned over. "Besides, sooner or later Atum will come looking for me."

Silence.

"You think that the sun-god would destroy Jotunheim in vengeance for your death?"

Loki thought about it for a moment. "No. But who else in the universe would care about the journal of a dead slave? Farbauti should not be forgotten."

"And I wonder how many others have thought the same for people who have been erased by time?"

Loki closed his eyes and tried to relax his body. "Enough to outnumber the stars, I should think."

#

The next day, Loki was woken by thunderous shouts coming from outside the building. He yawned and stretched. He glanced around to see Fenrir sitting by the door, ears pricked forward, growling low in his throat. Loki walked over cautiously to hear Angrboda and Gunnlod's voices.

"- the court declared it! Will you go against us?"

"Of course not, but it is not yet daybreak! I do not have everything ready-"

"That is none of my concern."

"But the storm-"

"If he cannot weather this, how do you expect him to survive a winter?"

Loki shook his head and went back to stuff everything they had gathered for his journey into his satchel. Being magical, it held much more than it appeared to be able to. There was some food ready, but the rest was going to be gathered this morning. By the shouting he guessed he would have no time to do so. A tinderbox he had, along with some of the strange flammable fungi fashioned into torches. Clothing would not be a problem. He also had the most important item in his store, a ball of yarn. A staple for labyrinths, at least according to the children's stories he always read.

That left the journal. Carefully he tucked in under the furs he used for sleeping. His heart was going a little faster than normal, but he was calm. Whatever he faced in the labyrinth, he would be able to conquer it. He had, after all, faced down titans and Elder gods!

There was only one thing left to do.

"Heimdall?" he called, raising his voice but not loud enough to be heard above the argument outside. Angrboda was fast being beaten. "I know there is no love lost between us two, but I have a request of Odin. If I should die here, please take Angrboda to Asgard, where she can be safe." He wasn't sure how to conclude, so he settled for a simple "Thank you."

And then he swung his satchel over his shoulder, and went to face the storm and the labyrinth.

**#**

**These events take place in my story "The Heart of Everything."**


	12. Chapter 12

Loki pulled his hood down lower over his face so that the wind wouldn't hit him so hard. He was holding Angrboda's hand because the cold did not bother him so much when he was in Jotünn form, but he still shivered. How did Angrboda, Gunnlod, and the other members of court manage to walk around with such little clothing? He thought his ears were going to fall off!

"We are here."

Loki stopped and stared through the grains of snow, trying to find anything discernible about this particular place. He could see nothing but white and blue, with a dash of orange and yellow from Angrboda's hair.

"Where is the entrance?" he shouted above the wind.

Angrboda pulled him forward a little further, and then reached out. Loki didn't see what she did, but the driving snow suddenly cut out. He shook his head, dislodging the ice form his black hair.

"This is it," Angrboda said, having to shout above the wind whistling past the entrance. "The entrance to the Lone Fires. Good luck."

She left him, and soon all that Loki could see was the white of the snow, and the darkness of the tunnel. He shivered, and reached into this satchel for a torch and flint. Soon a soft glow surrounded him, emphasizing the white blizzard. Loki turned his back on the snow, and walked into the labyrinth.

#

Balder slipped out of the palace and ran full-out for the stables. If he could make it before someone found him, then he would get to the bifrost and demand that Heimdall tell him what was happening. Unfortunately, when he entered the stables, he ran straight into Thor. Given how slight Balder was compared to his brother, it was no wonder that he bounced off and fell to the ground.

"Balder, you must learn to watch where you are going," Thor sighed, helping the younger god up.

"So you have told me." Balder brushed himself off, trying desperately to think of a lie. "I was going for a ride with Nanna-"

"I just came from the bifrost," Thor interrupted. "Loki is in the labyrinth."

Balder's shoulders sagged. "Is that all Heimdall said?"

Thor nodded.

"Is he going to be alright, Thor? Is he... Is he going to die?"

"Balder, Loki is intelligent and brave. If anybody can navigate a labyrinth carved into a volcano, he can," Thor said reassuringly.

Balder sighed. "The world was so much simpler when I thought an answer like that meant that of course Loki would be alright, not that that you have no idea. Why was I so stupid? Going to Jotunheim... I am such a fool!"

"We all are, in one way or another, brother." Thor gripped Balder's shoulder and smiled at him reassuringly. "The important thing to remember is that nobody is perfect."

"You are."

Thor laughed. "Far from it! Now, instead of bothering Heimdall, why don't we go see if Sif and Nanna would go riding with us? It will be good to get away from the palace and clear our heads a little."

"All right," Balder sighed. "Just don't laugh at me if Nanna bests me at sparring. Her mother is a Valkyrie, after all!"

"As long as you promise not to laugh if Sif bests me!"

Balder laughed, and kept the smile on his face until he was certain that Thor couldn't see him. And then his face fell into a troubled frown. Was it betrayal to go riding with friends and have fun while his brother was about to plunge into peril? Balder didn't know.

#

Another dead end. Loki turned, sighing, winding up the ball of yarn until he came to the junction where he had made the wrong turn. Taking a lump of coal from his pocket, he drew a giant "x" on the threshold of the tunnel. He sat, placing his torch down, shivering. It was just as cold in the Lone Fires as it was outside.

"Stupid volcano," he muttered. "You could at least have the decency of being sweltering. Or not have a magic dampener."

He hadn't been able to magick any clothing or blankets since he had entered the labyrinth. Not only that, but none of his locator or directional spells worked.

With another sigh, Loki looked into his store of food. Angrboda had gathered enough food for a week. He had a single strip of jerky left. Fortunately, he had found a few trickles of water to sate his thirst and refill his canteen. Although given the taste he might as well drink rock.

"Now what am I supposed to do?" Loki muttered, sucking on the jerky. "Do I admit defeat and go back, or do I stay in here and starve to death? If I go back, Gunnlod will probably kill me, anyway. Might as well stay here..."

Well, he was too tired to decide one way or another at the moment. Loki blew out the torch, cradled the ball of yarn in his arms, and lay down. As he did every time the light was out, he heard footsteps in the distance, whispered words all around him, and cold fingers probe his face and pluck at his clothes.

_A spell to scare away the weak minded_, he told himself firmly. _Nothing more._

Still, he shivered as a mournful howl echoed in the tunnel, and his thoughts turned to Farbauti's house. The presence he had sensed, and those words. _My son_. It could not be real. Ghosts of that sort did not exist, there was no evidence that they _could_! Once the body was dead, the astral projection of a being left the known universe. There was no way to bring it back.

So it could not have really been Farbauti in that house. Laufey must have had a sorcerer or something put a spell on it to keep people away, like these confounded spectres in this maze! But why would he want to do that? No, it must have been Angrboda, trying to give him a reason to stay...

Loki rolled over and pulled his cloak over his head, determined to get some sleep.

#

Angrboda scratched Fenrir's ears as she sat with Farbauti's journal in her lap. She wasn't getting anywhere with it. With a sigh, she shut the book. She stood and stretched, heading to her food cabinet. It was a relief to be able to stay in her regular size again. Being small so often had given her a near-permanent kink in her shoulders.

"My lady?"

Angrboda turned sharply. She had been so wrapped up in her thoughts that she hadn't heard Gerda, a slave belonging to Gunnlod, enter her abode. Being half-Aesir, she was slighter than most Jotünns her age, which was substantially older than Angrboda. With her soft, pink skin and blonde hair, the only hint of Jotünn in her was her height, a good head or two above the little people.

"What?"

"My lord Helblindi requests permission to speak with you," the woman replied.

"Tell him to go jump into a fire."

"My lady, he is very insistent."

Angrboda glared at the slave, but then her brow furrowed. She had never considered the life of a slave, considering her own horrible enough. But knowing about what Farbauti had gone through in her own words... "Gerda, if you were given the choice, would you leave Jotunheim?"

The older woman raised her pale grey eyes and looked quizzical. "I may not leave this city without permission of my mistress."

"But if you weren't a slave, what would you do? Would you go to Asgard?" Angrboda realised that she was picking at her thumb, and forced herself to still her hands.

"I do not believe in thinking on things that will never happen, my lady," Gerda replied stiffly.

"Of course. I apologise."

Gerda's blonde brows rose.

"Send Helblindi in."

Gerda bowed her way out, and moments later Helblindi entered. He stood nervously. Angrboda glared at him coldly.

"Well? Have you anything to say, melting man?"

"Do you honestly believe that Loki Odinson has any interests in his hearts other than destroying us?"

"Do you honestly believe that that you'll be anything other than your mother's pet mushroom?"

Helblindi growled. "Is that an answer?"

"What do you think? Or can you not decide that when Mother isn't here to tell you what to think?"

"Is this how you expect to rule Jotunheim? By insulting the men who _want_ to be your allies?"

Angrboda laughed, her hair flickering around her. "You want to be my ally?"

"Yes! I did not tell my mother about Loki."

"Why should I believe that?"

"Because I love you."

Angrboda rolled her eyes and stalked to her cabinet, pulling out a bottle of ale. She avoided the stuff mostly, determined that she would not become like Laufey, but that wasn't to say that she couldn't enjoy a drink once in a while. She poured a glass, and then took a swig from the bottle. Helblindi stood where he was, his expression frustrated and earnest.

"What use is love?" Angrboda asked him. "And why should I believe you, for that matter? For all I know, you could be acting on your mother's orders, seeing as how I am going to be king soon. Perhaps she wants her son to be Jotunheim's second queen? We are cousins, my dear Lord Helblindi. Such things are forbidden."

"My mother has talked of claiming you as her daughter."

"I would sooner cast myself in Serpent's Lip than be subservient to that woman."

Helblindi shook his head. "You speak of the good of Jotunheim, and then you bring that pink little Aesir prince here, to be our queen? The Aesir are what put us in this state of starving in the first place, Angrboda!"

"Do not address me without my title!" Angrboda hissed. She went to take another drink, but then set the alcohol aside. A heavy frown crossed her face. What was she doing? She never fought like this with Helblindi! "I'm sorry. I... I don't know what's come over me."

"It's the Aesir."

Angrboda pressed a hand to her head, and sat down. "I'm worried for him."

"What?"

"He's not what you think, Helblindi. He will bring prosperity to Jotunheim. His ties to Asgard's court are the only hope we have of rebuilding."

"We are a strong people, should we beg aid to rebuild from the people who razed our cities and salted our fields?" Helblindi cautiously sat close to her. Fenrir licked his face and rolled onto his back. The frost giant obliged in scratching the wolf's belly.

Angrboda was silent for a moment. "You are the closest thing I have to a friend, cousin, but anything I say to you surely will end in Gunnlod's ears."

"That is no answer."

"Our people are starving. We do not know _how_ to rebuild. Or is there something that you are not telling me? Some secret fields, perhaps, or new, more plentiful hunting grounds?"

Angrboda waited for Helblindi's response, her arms folded. He set his jaw and didn't respond. Silence reigned for a few minutes, until a Gerda bowed into the abode again.

"My lady, my lord. Queen Gunnlod requests her son attend her at once."

Helblindi met Angrboda's eyes and then stood. She sighed, knowing she could not gainsay Gunnlod's desires- yet. When she was king and Gunnlod nothing but a former queen, things would be different!

"Go. We will speak later."

Helblindi nodded and left the abode, Gerda following silent after.

Angrboda sighed heavily, leaning back against the wall. Would the fear of her ghost keep Gunnlod from slaying her to keep the crown? The possibility seemed to grow every day. Angrboda tried to keep the fear of it at bay, but at the same time, she had to stay on her guard. Now that Loki was here, and seemingly willing to cooperate with her plans.

"But then, Loki must make it to the heart of the Lone Fires and back with a treasure for her claim to be threatened," Angrboda murmured to herself. "And Ymir knows if that will happen!"

A knot of worry twisted her gut. To distract herself, she picked up Farbauti's journal again and tried to struggle through it.

#

Loki woke to pain. His chest felt as though someone had stomped on him. He gasped a moment and then rolled over. He felt for his torch. It was not there. And his ball of yarn was gone.

"What?" he muttered.

Something hard hit his face. He grunted. Where did that come from? A hand grabbed the back of his cloak and dragged him back, choking him. He whirled around, lashed out – his hands met air. Loki scrambled to his feet. A punch landed on his face, a foot kicked out his knees. With a yelp he was done again.

Sounds started to echo in the tunnel. Footsteps. A few at first, but more and more joined them. An army, marching his way! He pushed himself back to his feet. A pair of giant hands grabbed him. Threw him against the wall. Closed around his throat.

Blood pulsed in his eat in beat with the marching feet. He couldn't breathe. The hands lifted him into the air. He struck out. Found nothing. Grabbed at the hands choking him – found nothing. His eyes widened. He clawed at his throat. His fingers met his own skin.

His head was getting foggy… if only it wasn't so cold and dark…

A small part of his brain woke up. _You're the son of a sun god._

The image came to his mind of when he was a child, the first time he had met Atum. Before either had known their relationship. Atum, huge, menacing, golden-skinned, hands wreathed in flame… _But I don't know the spell!_ In a moment he was going to lose consciousness. _Fire!_ he thought. _Need fire!_

He clenched his fists and threw them forward, spreading his hands wide. Flames coated his fingerers. Red, dull. Loki's eyes widened in shock. His hand were on fire! The grip on his throat loosened, letting him gasp in one quick breath. The flames reared higher. A face loomed in the red light for a brief second and then was gone. The pressure on Loki's throat disappeared with it and his collapsed to the floor, gasping.

"Well," he coughed. "That was unexpected."

As he stared at his hands, triumph enveloped him. Concentrating, he could raise the flame a little higher. Clenching his left hand, the fire went out. It took tremendous concentration, but he could light it again.

He staggered to his feet, holding out his flaming hands. He coughed, his mind turning to the attack. There must be protective spells cast throughout the maze. Coupled with the local superstitions… Loki looked around. His torch and yarn were both gone. His heart sunk. The marks he had left on the tunnel floor had been erased.

"Just a spell," he told himself. "Just a spell!"

It didn't change the fact that he was well and truly lost with no food. He didn't even know which way he had come from!

"Don't panic. You've been in worse situations." _Have I?_

Loki was about to put his head in his hands but stopped when the red flames flickered. He didn't want to be in the dark again. The spell seemed only to work in the absolute darkness.

"Only one thing for it!" he muttered. "Let's go about this the Thor way!"

Thinking about Thor had been a mistake. A heavy ball of cold fell into his stomach. What were they doing, Thor, Balder, his mother and fath- Odin. Loki sat down, staring at his flaming hands. Would a scrying spell work? Didn't matter. He had no mirror.

He missed them. He had just started repairing his relationships with them all… He should have said more when he left Asgard, should have told his brothers and mother how much he cared for them, how much it meant that they hadn't given up on him, even when he had given up on himself.

"And," he whispered. "I should have said to Odin…" He closed his eyes. "I should have asked him if he was still my father. But he's not my father. Atum is. And now I'm going to die."

_Is that the way a prince of Asgard faces his fate?_

Loki scrambled to his feet. He looked around but saw nobody.

_Is that the way my son is going to die?_

He had heard that voice before, in Farbauti's house. Loki lowered his hands. "Ghosts of that sort are not real."

_Ah, my son… Do you think that there is nothing that you do not yet understand?_

"Ghosts do not exist." Loki looked down at his hands, and then back up. "If you're there, which way do I go?"

_I'm not there, Loki. I'm stuck here, where I died. Laufey ensured that. But you are the son of Atum, you have it within you to navigate this maze and find your destiny. Don't give up. Please. Heal the hurt that was done to my home, draw out the poison left here by Laufey. Make it a better world. Don't let others suffer the fate I did. Don't give Angrboda to Gunnlod's rage._

"What can I do?"

_You are the son of Atum and Farbauti, the child of Odin and Frigga. Stop thinking you must be one or the other. Get through this maze._

"You're not real, why should I listen to you?"

_You're lost and alone, what harm can it do?_

Loki was silent. "How come you've never spoken to me before, if you really are Farbauti?"

_It is difficult to break through the magic Laufey bound me with. I cannot say much more. Be strong. Be brave. Walk through this trial by fire._

"How?" Loki called, but his voice echoed in silence.

There was no reply. He stood for a long time, wishing the voice would come back. Even though it was false, at least it gave him something to speak to… He lifted his chin. If his brothers were here, Thor would say something entirely idiotic, spouting nonsense about the necessity to complete the quest or die trying. Balder would be ridiculously optimistic and show ultimate faith in him to get through. Frigga would embrace him and tell him she loves him. Odin… Odin would be firm and stern and Loki wouldn't know if he wanted him to succeed or not. And if Atum were here…? Loki had no idea.

"They're not here. So now, I need to decide which way to go." He looked at his three options, and then shrugged. "The Thor method it is."

He closed his eyes and spun. When he opened them again, he turned to the nearest exit, and followed the tunnel out.


End file.
